----- Original Message ----- From: "J. van Baardwijk" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Killer Bs Discussion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Sunday, March 02, 2003 7:55 AM Subject: How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
> At 18:40 1-3-2003 -0600, Robert Seeberger wrote: > > >Well, first, there has to be a UN security resolution demanding a change > >-- but only if the light bulb can be proved to be burned out and not > >just in a quantum state of flux.Second, there should be an increase in > >the number and frequency of inspectors and inspections to determine that > >the light bulb is not just burned out, but a genuine threat to the rest > >of the world. There has to be a "smoking filament" or else the changing > >of the bulb would be considered unnecessary since the light bulb poses > >no threat to world stability, let alone in breach of said resolution by > >illuminating anything other than it's own space. > > > >Third, there should be endless debate about the ramifications of light > >bulb change. How do we know the next light bulb will be a more co > >operative light bulb and illuminate our lives? > > > >Fourth, France will in no way support a violent action in changing the > >light bulb. There must be a peaceful solution to this light bulb change; > >violent action is unacceptable.Fifth, without a broad coalition that > >supports light bulb change, any action to change the bulb will be > >considered a breach of the "spirit" of the UN resolution regarding the > >light bulb. -- Geoff Arnold > > This of course *begs* for a "how many Americans does it take to change a > light bulb" reply... > > First, the Americans will initially oppose any investigation to find out > whether the light bulb actually *has* burned out and needs replacement -- > the US will say: "we are always right, so if we *say* that the light bulb > is broken, then the light bulb *is* broken". Then, when other countries > insist that an investigation be carried out first, the US will accuse them > of attempting to stall the Light Bulb Replacement Procedure. > > The US will then reluctantly allow the investigation, but will at the same > time announce that they are going to change the light bulb anyway, with or > without the support of their allies, even if there is no evidence that the > light bulb *is* defective. To show that they don't care about the outcome > of the investigation and the opinions of their allies, the US will > immediately deploy a huge team of Light Bulb Replacement Engineers to the > region, ready to move in as soon as the inspection team has left the area. > > Then, finally, the US will move in; it wrecks a large number of innocent > side tables, other innocent light bulbs and a variety of other innocent > furniture in their attempt to reach the allegedly-defective light bulb, but > these will all be considered "collateral damage". > > When the light bulb is found to be still functioning, the US will accuse > the owner of the light bulb of hiding the defective light bulb in a secret > location. Being unable to say "hey, we were wrong about this", the US will > destroy the functioning light bulb with overwhelming force, then show the > shattered remains of the light bulb to the world and say "see, told you it > was defective!". The owner of the light bulb will be executed to prevent > the truth from coming out. > > If some people on the Light Bulb Replacement Team get injured, the US will > blame their allies, because "this wouldn't have happened if you had > supported us". > > Finally, the US decides that all this should never happen again, so they > take over the house in which the light bulb was located, the Light Bulb > Factory and the power company. The profits of both companies will not be > used to provide more lighted areas for the local population, but will flow > directly into the pockets of US-based Big Bu$ine$$ and their buddies in the > US government. > HAHAHA!!!!!! OK! How many french does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one! He holds it up and Europe revolves around him! xponent Joking About Serious Subjects Maru rob Aint nothin' gonna change If you can go away Im just gonna stay here and always be the same _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
