----- Original Message ----- From: "Julia Thompson" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Killer Bs Discussion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, July 31, 2003 7:42 PM Subject: Re: The Case for a Marriage Ammendment to the Constitution
> Russell Chapman wrote: > > > > Julia Thompson wrote: > > > > >Just thought of a scenario not handled by this: > > > > > >Woman & man marry > > >Woman & man have baby > > >Woman & man get divorced > > >Woman gets custody > > >Woman marries another man > > >Woman is killed in an accident when child is 6 years old > > > > > >Who gets primary custody at *this* point? The bio-dad or the step-dad? > > > > > This is something that keeps me awake at night... My ex-wife is a > > fruit-loop who has no concept of responsibility at any level, and can't > > cope with the children for more than an overnight visit every few > > months. My second wife, despite having been thrown in the deep end with > > no preparation and all the challenges that step-parents face, is a > > wonderful mother who would do (and does) anything and everything for the > > children. > > My custody of the children is just a casual agreement between us, there > > is no court order. > > If something happenned to me, the default position of the authorities > > would be to return the children to their natural mother, and her family > > would want that to happen (my family would not!). I have a clause in my > > will that basically begs the authorities to leave the children with > > their step mother, which they may take note of, but that is as much as I > > can do. Obviously, as the children get older the risk is less and less, > > but when they were 6 it was a real concern about which I had no control. > > (they're 10 & 13 now). > > Is there some age at which children of divorced parents can have a say > in where they live? > > Various states in the US have that, and the age varies from state to > state. It's 14 *somewhere*. Don't know anything beyond that. > Its 9 in Texas. It was 11 'til the year before my divorce. Next year my son will have the right to decide. As things stand now, my Ex has gotten herself together quite well, mental health wise, (an unexpected result of our divorce is that she seemed to get much stronger, something that I am very happy about for the sake of my son) and I *want* him to stay with his mother. At least for a few more years. I think that is best for both of them at this point. On the other hand, her health is sometimes a bit shaky (fibromalgia, epstien-barre, and occasional tumors, cysts, and whatnots on her ovaries) I have fears of her succumbing to cancer in a few years. Her mother has a brain tumor at the moment and her father is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Ever since our divorce her family has been through hell. (mother broke her hip and back in a fall off the porch, dad lost thousands of dollars somewhere due to his diminished memory, brother was in an awful auto accident and is now quadriplegic) I don't hold a lot of hope for them lasting 20 years. xponent My Sons Well Being Maru rob _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
