> Theme for the Kennebunkport Hillbilly > (sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song) > > Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy name Bush, > His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush. > He drank like a fish while he drove all about, > But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out. > > (DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.) > > Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale, > He can't spell his name but they never let him fail. > He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk, > And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke. > > > (Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.) > > The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam, > Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom." > "Let the common people get maimed and scarred, > "We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard!" > > (Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.) > > Twenty years later George gets a little bored, > He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord. > He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be!" > So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP. > > (Gun owners, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms.) > > Come November 7, the election ran late. > Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!" > "Don't let those colored folks get into the polls." > So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes. > > (Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.) > > Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in. > Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win!" > "Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation, > And that's how George finally got his coronation. > > (Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.) > > Y'all come vote now - Ya hear?
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