Avoiding Aliens, the much needed sequel to Contacting Aliens. ------------------
Highly classified note to all Terragen Field Agents: If you ever need to confront an er over a serious matter, and find youself caught in a crowd situation with mixed clans that include Tymbrimi, or, and this is hard to admit, more importantly, Tytlal, there is now an established procedure. If you confront the alien as a police officer, do so in a flat unemotional voice. (It may help to think of the last Hoon official you've had to deal with.) It doesn't matter what language you're using. Identify yourself as officer, ______, with badge number 714. Many Tytlal know to pick up on this reference to an old TwenCen television program. They will immediately claim to know you, back up your story, or generally go along with what's needed. An added clue may be used if you try to call for backup and ask "Aircar fifty-four, where are you?" The Galactic Library still treats most Earthclan "flat" historic entertainment as meaningless and not worthy of being added to the Library's vast memory. If the Tytlal weren't interested in helping you in your spying, they will be instantly interested in participating in your "joke" or "trick." Watch for a keyed response from the Tytlal. One or more will indroduce the word "rube" or "rubens" into a conversation. R.U.B.E. in this case stands for Regulation Uplift Biological Entity. Or, to put it more bluntly, an er that could never come up with an original thought, or any thought at all without first consulting a Library Unit. "Rube" is a signal that they know that a trick is being played. [Note, though the use of the word rube may have originally come from a circus background, there's a general feeling that the Tytlal were already using it for something else.] Secondly, if you use the badge number 714 routine, watch for any finger movements or drawings in the dirt, the tabecloth, or even on one of their mempads. Look for two arc segmets, opposing each other. On one end, the two end points meet. On the other end, the two arcs cross each other about three fourths of the way down. If a galactic happens to catch the sign, any research will direct that er to the sign's historic religious meaning on Earth. But in this case, it has an entirely new meaning. It means that the tytlal who made it has played such a trick before. And that er has a full knowledge of Anglic. Well enough to pun, if needed. The Tytlal themselves suggested these code words. They couldn't resist the double meaning. If you use 714, you hope to have fish with Friday. William Taylor -------------------- D'oh duh D'oh D'oh _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
