On Fri, 13 May 2005 15:26:50 -0700 (PDT), Deborah Harrell wrote

> who has made difficult choices, when a life was in the balance

That certainly hit me.

I find myself feeling a bit angry.  Nothing like a few triage decisions or 
mistakes to make one realize that life throws us decisions that are painful to 
make, even traumatic, when we're helpless to do all that we'd like to.

In fact, it seems crazy that anyone would accuse me of being unwilling to make 
hard decisions, given that like you, I've had to make some very hard ones.  
And for me, they were in the field, in the midst of chaos.  I'm not sure I 
have something to learn about that from anybody who hasn't experienced that.

Lest it sound as though I think hardly anybody understands, I'll add that I'm 
sure there are many who have had to make difficult decisions about the care of 
loved ones, etc.  On the other hand, it's only been lately that I've realized 
that part of the pain of witnessing death as a professional is that death is 
so incredibly intimate and personal that I feel as though I didn't belong 
there, that it should have been their loved ones with them at that moment.

Nick
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