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Seculariffic!
TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- POLITICAL
http://www.topfive.com/fivers.shtml
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December 13, 2005
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
The pundit world has been buzzing lately
about liberal plots to secularize Christmas.
We got to thinking the "War on Christmas"
might escalate a bit.
The Top 15 Weapons in the War on Christmas
15> Frag-incense
14> Nog & Awe
13> Season's beatings
12> The Jewtron bomb
11> Sleighpalm
10> Bowl full of gelignite
9> Intercontinental Ballistic Missiletoe
8> Weapons of Midnight Mass Destruction
7> White Christmas flag (France only)
6> Multiple Independently-targeted Reentry Sleighs
5> Anti-myrrh grenades
4> RPGs: Reindeer-Propelled Grenades
3> Seven snipers a-sniping
2> Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Blitzkrieg
and the Number 1 Weapon in the War on Christmas...
1> Heathen-seeking missiles
[ Copyright 2005 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 44 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
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Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina -- 1
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA -- 2, 8, 9 (Hat trick!)
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, 3, 10 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 4
Tom Velasco, Alexandria, VA -- 5, 12, Topic
Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 6, 11, 15 (Hat trick!)
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA -- 7, 8
Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 8, 13
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 9
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL -- 9
Steve Spradlin, Sand Springs, OK -- 14
Davis Spenser, Ashokan, NY -- Banner tag
Chris Urich, Poughkeepsie, NY -- Stuck in the Middle
With You
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Weapons in the War on Christmas
RUNNERS UP list -- The Fruit-cular Option
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Carpet-fruitcaking
(Steve Spradlin, Sand Springs, OK)
The combined-effects fruitcake
(Tom Velasco, Alexandria, VA)
Rocket-propelled fruitcakes
(Peg Warner, Exeter, NH)
M-19 Tactical Field Fruitcake
(Bill Muse, Seattle, WA)
Yellowfruitcake
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
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Weapons in the War on Christmas
HONORABLE MENTIONS list -- Tad Offensive
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Hanukkah ambush
(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)
Boughs of Holocaust
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
The Coal-ashnikov Fully Automatic Stocking Stuffer
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
Propagandhi
(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)
And a cartridge in a .23
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Silent night vision goggles
(Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)
Barbed tinsel
(Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)
Rudolph the Condition RED Early Warning Reindeer
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
Fa-la-la-la-land mines
(Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)
Suicide carolers
(Steve Spradlin, Sand Springs, OK)
Santa Claws
(Peg Warner, Exeter, NH)
Red fur-lined flak jackets
(Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)
Kamikwanzi jets
(Steve Spradlin, Sand Springs, OK)
Honorable Mentions list name
(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)
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