Television talk shows took aim Monday at U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting companion. Here's a few of the jokes.
Late Show with David Letterman, CBS: -"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." -"But here is the sad part - before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armour." -"We can't get (Osama) bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney." -"The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet." - The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, NBC: -"Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear. -"That's the big story over the weekend. . . . Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 per cent." -"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' " -"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!" - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Comedy Central: -"Vice-President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt . . . making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honour, integrity and political manoeuvring. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." -"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. . . . But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. . . . moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice-president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted - it's just not worth it." xponent The Buckshots Here Maru rob _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
