On 20/02/2009, at 2:48 AM, Nick Arnett wrote:
I offer this not so you can ask her straight out if she was feeling
helpless or out of control, but to let you know to listen for that
and offer reassurance that that is often the hardest part and it is
normal. By the way, people in that kind of position (remote,
connected by phone or radio) very often have a delayed reaction
(days, weeks, even months)...
and are tempted to minimize their grief (yes, it's grief) because
they weren't on-scene. One of the very big no-nos is making those
comparisons. Whatever comes up for her and other folks touched by
this, reassuring one another than no matter what it is -- trouble
sleeping, intrusive memories, increased drinking, whatever -- is a
normal response to an abnormal experience.
Hope that's of some help.
It'll definitely be of help to people, and it's clear your experience
has given you good tools. I also have a pretty good toolset, and mine
told me to not worry about letting myself feel it all as it happened,
because Claire would get hit later. She's in good hands.