On 12/07/2010, at 7:02 AM, Dan Minette wrote: > >> Probably because the words "or abandoned" disappeared somewhere between my >> brain and my fingers. Point being, single parents aren't always because >> they had a one-night stand or divorced, sometimes it's because one parent >> disappears from the picture. > > I agree that single parents raising children by themselves are usually due > to the other parent shirking their responsibilities. I've seen couples that > have divorced because the conflicts were beyond repair still working hard to > raise their children in a cooperate manner, putting their children's > interests ahead of their own agendas. Parenting together when you don't > live together is a lot more work than it was for Teri and me. She's still > putting up with me years after all the kids left to sally forth on their > own. :-) But, I think it's better for kids know to both parents still love > them unconditionally, even when the parents are split. > > I have a hunch we aren't arguing here; just exploring different aspects of > the same thing.
Now I'm awake again - no, not arguing. I think what I was getting at above was that there's often this undercurrent in a lot of commentary that "single parents" are at fault somewhat for being "single parents" and are morally suspect in some way, and I was just pointing out that plenty of people who wind up having to raise kids by themselves are there through no fault of their own. Being widowed is one, having a male skip the picture the second you're pregnant is another, and simply bad luck is a third. I have a friend who is approaching the upper end of her safe biological window for being pregnant, and is currently going through IVF through a donor because she desperately wants a child and she has been let down by guy after guy. I have no doubt she'll do everything in her power to be as good a parent she can be (plus she has a very supportive group of friends and family). As I think we're mostly in agreement about, the variability between ability and commitment of any particular type of parental solo or partnership is greater than the differences between those types, and the most important thing is for a child to know support and love. C. _______________________________________________ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
