Dear John, There’s no easy way of saying this, so I’m not going to beat around the bush. I need to just come right out and tell you. I mean to do anything else would be cowardly and shameful. You really deserve to know the truth, and that’s the reason I decided to write you this letter. I could have called you I suppose, or even text you, but I think you’re supposed to do this by letter because it’s more personal or something. Although how it can be more personal than a phone call is beyond me. Maybe I should have called you after all.
Anyway, I’m committed now. I bought this lovely paper and a stamp and everything. So I want you know that what I’m about to tell you has nothing at all to do with tennis. Though come to think of it I’m not sure why it would; I suppose you never know. Oh god I’m totally screwing this up, I should definitely have bought a second piece of paper. I suppose I’m just going to have to leave it and keep going. You’re a really nice guy, and I like you a lot. Well, that’s not really true I suppose. I mean for one thing you have terrible taste in music. All that dum-tish-dum-tish in the car when all I want to do is slap on some shania and sing my way through the journey to your mothers house. Oh god, your mother. There’s another reason. I should probably add that to my list. Anyway, you don’t need to know about my list. In fact, pretend there isn’t a list. So I think I should I say something about there being fish in the sea. But surely you know that? You spent all that time at the seaside as a kid and you’re always REALLY into shark week each year. Why do people talk about fish at times like this? This is about human people, not silly slimy fish. This is getting too long now, and america’s next top model is on soon, I suppose I should just say it. You’re dumped. I’m leaving you for something with thumbers. Yours, www.suckmythumber.co.uk __________________________________________________ BritDisc mailing list [email protected] http://www.fysh.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/britdisc Staying informed - http://www.ukultimate.com/staying-informed
