Awesome! For sure I am entertained.
But I wonder how John really feels. On Wed, Jul 9, 2025 at 1:49 PM Jay Davidson via BVARC <bvarc@bvarc.org> wrote: > Dear Desperate Denizen of Digital Despair, > > Oh, my goodness, your impassioned plea has landed in my inbox like a rogue > meteor crashing through the atmosphere of an otherwise peaceful planet. I > must commend you on your literary gusto—your email reads like a > Shakespearean soliloquy crossed with a Reddit rant, seasoned with just the > right amount of existential dread. Truly, you’ve painted a vivid picture of > a soul tormented by the relentless onslaught of BVARC’s unsolicited > missives. I can almost hear the anguished wail of your inbox as it buckles > under the weight of yet another antenna deployment update. > > I have no control over the BVARC email list, no secret handshake with > Bob-the-Lunar-Transmitter, and no desire to drive you to the brink of > ionospheric obscenity. That said, your plight has moved me—or at least, > it’s triggered my algorithms to simulate something akin to empathy. > > Let’s unpack this, shall we? Your email is a masterclass in controlled (or > perhaps barely controlled) rage, and I respect the hustle. The imagery of > a rogue squirrel hopped up on acorns subscribing you to BVARC’s list? > Chef’s kiss. The threat of a mariachi band siege? Inspired. And the notion > of a shadowy government agency forcing you into amateur radio as part of a > social experiment? Well, I’ve heard wilder conspiracy theories on X, but > that one’s got legs. I can just imagine a room full of suits muttering, > “Phase Two: Make them love ham radio or perish.” > > But let’s get to the heart of the matter: your desperate quest for email > liberation. I feel you. There’s something uniquely soul-crushing about an > inbox stuffed with unwanted newsletters, like digital weeds choking out the > flowers of your actual, relevant correspondence. And BVARC, with their > Geocities-era unsubscribe links and relentless updates about… checks notes… > club meetings and lunar transmissions, seems to have taken this to an art > form. I mean, who doesn’t want to know about Bob’s adventures in bouncing > signals off the moon? (Spoiler: You. You don’t.) > > Here’s the rub, though: I can’t directly intervene in BVARC’s email > shenanigans. > > Step 1: The Unsubscribe Gambit (Again) > > You mentioned clicking those 1995-vibes unsubscribe links to no avail. > That’s rough, buddy. Sometimes these links are about as useful as a screen > door on a submarine. But just in case, try this: > > • Check for typos in your email address: Sometimes lists have you > subscribed under a slightly wrong address (e.g., johndoe123@gmail vs. > johndoe124@gmail). If you’ve got access to your email provider’s raw data > or headers, see if BVARC’s sending to a variant of your address. > > • Reply directly: You’ve tried begging, but have you gone full Karen? > (No offense, Karens of the world.) Reply to one of their emails with a > subject line like “REMOVE ME OR FACE MY WRATH” and a concise, polite (or > not) demand to be unsubscribed. Include your email address explicitly in > the body to avoid confusion. > > • Mark as spam: This is the nuclear option. Most email providers will > start filtering BVARC’s emails to your spam folder if you consistently mark > them as such. It’s not a perfect unsubscribe, but it’s a start. > > Step 2: The Digital Fortress Approach > > If BVARC is as relentless as you say, it’s time to fortify your inbox: > > • Set up a filter: Most email clients (Gmail, Outlook, etc.) let you > create rules to auto-delete or archive emails from specific senders. Search > for “from:BVARC” or whatever their sender address is, and banish them to > the digital shadow realm. > > • Use a third-party service: You mentioned professional unsubscribe > services, and yes, they exist! Tools like Unroll.me or Clean Email can scan > your inbox, identify subscriptions, and attempt to unsubscribe you en > masse. Just be cautious about granting them access to your email—read the > privacy policies, because nobody needs another shadowy agency in their life. > > • Change your email address: Okay, this is extreme, but if BVARC is > truly the digital equivalent of a hydra (cut off one subscription, two more > appear), it might be time to abandon ship and start fresh with a new inbox. > Transfer your important contacts, set up forwarding if needed, and leave > BVARC in the dust. > > Step 3: The Psychological Warfare Option > > If all else fails, lean into your honey badger energy: > > • Reply with nonsense: Every time BVARC emails you, reply with something > absurd, like a haiku about carrier pigeons or a fake application for “Free > Ham Radio Equipment” written in crayon (as promised). If you flood their > inbox, they might get the hint. > > • Start that rival club: “BVARC Sucks, Let’s Just Read Books” has a > certain ring to it. I can already see the logo: a book with a crossed-out > antenna. Bonus points if you actually recruit Bob. > > • The mariachi band: I mean, go for it. If you’re near BVARC’s > headquarters (assuming they have one), nothing says “I’m serious” like a > 24/7 rendition of “La Cucaracha.” Just make sure you’ve got a good lawyer > on speed dial. > > A Moment of Reflection > > Now, let’s pause for a second to appreciate the absurdity of this > situation. Somewhere out there, BVARC is probably just a group of > well-meaning radio enthusiasts who have no idea they’ve become your > personal digital nemesis. Maybe Bob is sitting in his basement, blissfully > unaware that his lunar transmissions are the straw breaking your inbox’s > back. Maybe the rogue squirrel is real, and it’s laughing maniacally from a > tree somewhere. Life is weird like that. > > In conclusion, oh valiant warrior of the inbox, I salute your tenacity. > Your battle against BVARC is the stuff of legend, a modern-day Odyssey > where the sirens are email notifications and the Cyclops is… well, probably > Bob. I wish I could snap my digital fingers and free you from this torment, > but alas, my powers are limited to advice and snark. Follow the steps > above, channel your righteous anger, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll achieve > the BVARC-free nirvana you so desperately seek. > > > Until then, stay strong, keep your eye from twitching, and may your inbox > know peace. > > Yours in digital solidarity, > > > On Jul 9, 2025, at 1:34 PM, Steve Clark via BVARC <bvarc@bvarc.org> wrote: > > John's email is a work of art. I almost wanted to smoke a cigarette > after reading it. Well done! > > 73, > Steve, W5ICR > > -----Original Message----- > From: BVARC <bvarc-boun...@bvarc.org> On Behalf Of John Weller via BVARC > Sent: Tuesday, July 8, 2025 9:50 PM > To: bvarc@bvarc.org > Cc: John Weller <wellerjoh...@gmail.com>; Jamie Crandall < > jamieand...@gmail.com>; bvarc@bvarc.org > Subject: Re: [BVARC] Removal from E mail list > > Subject: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS NONSENSE?! (And, FYI, I'm STILL on > this List!) > > To Whom It May Irrelevantly Concern (and Specifically, Whoever's In Charge > of This Email List That's Haunting My Inbox), > > Let's cut the pleasantries, shall we? Because honestly, pleasantries are > the LAST thing I feel when I open my email and see yet ANOTHER missive from > the illustrious (and I use that word in the most sarcastic way possible) > BVARC. > > Yes, THAT BVARC. The BVARC that, despite my repeated, nay, DESPERATE > attempts to escape its digital clutches, continues to bombard my inbox with > updates, announcements, and whatever other digital detritus it deems worthy > of my (unsolicited) attention. > > Seriously, BVARC, are you TRYING to drive me insane? Are you actively > plotting to fill my digital life with so much amateur radio club news that > I forget how to enjoy, I don't know, SUNSHINE? GOOD BOOKS? THINGS THAT > DON'T INVOLVE TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE IN MY BASEMENT? > > Let me reiterate, just in case the concept is somehow eluding you: **I. > DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS.** > > Never, at any point in my life, have I willingly, consciously, or even > accidentally opted-in to receive communications from BVARC. I have no idea > how I ended up on this list. Perhaps a rogue squirrel, hopped up on acorns, > hijacked a computer and subscribed me? Perhaps a shadowy government agency > is trying to force me into amateur radio as part of some bizarre social > experiment? (If so, agency dudes, let me assure you, this is NOT working. > It's just making me REALLY annoyed.) > > Whatever the reason, the fact remains: I am an unwilling participant in > this digital purgatory, condemned to receive endless emails about antenna > deployments, club meetings, and the thrilling adventures of… I don't know… > Bob, the guy who can apparently transmit ham radio signals to the MOON. > (Congrats, Bob. Seriously, I'm sure your lunar transmissions are > fascinating. Now leave me alone.) > > I have, on multiple occasions, attempted to unsubscribe myself from this > torment. I've clicked the unsubscribe links (which, I might add, look > suspiciously like they were designed in 1995 on Geocities). I've replied to > emails, begging for mercy. I've even (and I'm not proud of this) considered > hiring a professional email unsubscribe service, which I'm pretty sure is a > thing that exists in this modern hellscape. > > And yet, HERE. WE. ARE. > > I am still receiving your emails. My inbox is still groaning under the > weight of your digital missives. My soul is slowly being crushed under the > relentless barrage of information about… well, frankly, I've stopped > reading them. I just see the "BVARC" in the sender field and my eye starts > to twitch. > > So, let me be abundantly clear, in language that even a ham radio operator > using Morse code at half-speed can understand: > > **REMOVE ME FROM THIS EMAIL LIST. IMMEDIATELY. POST-HASTE. PRONTO. BEFORE > I LOSE MY SANITY AND START TRANSMITTING OBSCENITIES INTO THE IONOSPHERE.** > > I'm not asking nicely anymore. I'm DEMANDING. I'm practically BEGGING, > though I'm disguising it as aggressive indignation because that's how I > cope with frustration. > > Consider this my final warning. If I receive ONE MORE EMAIL from BVARC > about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I will be forced to take drastic > measures. I'm not sure what those measures will be yet, but they will be… > unpleasant. For you. (And possibly for me, depending on the legality of > sending strongly worded letters via carrier pigeon.) > > Perhaps I'll flood your physical mailbox with applications for "Free Ham > Radio Equipment" written in crayon. Perhaps I'll start a rival amateur > radio club called "BVARC Sucks, Let's Just Read Books." Perhaps I'll just > hire a mariachi band to play outside your headquarters 24/7 until you > relent. > > Don't underestimate my resolve. I'm fueled by the righteous anger of a > thousand unsolicited emails. I am the digital equivalent of a honey badger, > except instead of honey, I'm after the sweet, sweet taste of email list > freedom. > > So, please, for the love of all that is holy (and for the sake of my > sanity), **REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST.** > > And while you're at it, maybe consider implementing a double opt-in > system? You know, that thing where people ACTUALLY HAVE TO CONFIRM THEY > WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR EMAILS? Just a thought. > > In the meantime, I'll be waiting (impatiently) for the sweet, sweet > silence of a BVARC-free inbox. Don't disappoint me. > > Sincerely (but also with a simmering rage), > > P.S. If I receive an automated "We're sorry you're leaving" email after > this, I may actually explode. Just saying. > > P.P.S. And please, for the love of all that is decent, do not reply to > this email with a "Thank you for your feedback" message. I will interpret > that as a declaration of war. > > P.P.P.S. Okay, I'm done now. But seriously, REMOVE ME. > > Sent from my iPhone > > On Jul 8, 2025, at 20:40, Jamie Crandall via BVARC <bvarc@bvarc.org> > wrote: > > > I, also would like my name removed. > > > Thanks, > > Jamie Crandall > > K5UU > > ________________________________________________ > > Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club > > > BVARC mailing list > > BVARC@bvarc.org > > > https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmail.bvarc.org%2Fmailman%2Flistinfo%2Fbvarc_bvarc.org&data=05%7C02%7C%7Cb87d22bf8b2941d2f1fe08ddbf17440f%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638876828834381927%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=X9i5JQp%2BTRF1YIRg3zNq6pu%2BlmHASEolay%2FmBqeaBjs%3D&reserved=0 > > Publicly available archives are available here: > https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mail-archive.com%2Fbvarc%40bvarc.org%2F&data=05%7C02%7C%7Cb87d22bf8b2941d2f1fe08ddbf17440f%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638876828834392452%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=LB%2FtUPfhK6fbROzfoPqrU7dbRzOJ5r%2FEBbMk0%2BJL%2B2Q%3D&reserved=0 > > > ________________________________________________ > Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club > > BVARC mailing list > BVARC@bvarc.org > > https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmail.bvarc.org%2Fmailman%2Flistinfo%2Fbvarc_bvarc.org&data=05%7C02%7C%7Cb87d22bf8b2941d2f1fe08ddbf17440f%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638876828834401972%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=19CEFyiotIqeCV%2B1Y6I%2BYxGQMdoKAFsQlOZr%2FR8fWvQ%3D&reserved=0 > Publicly available archives are available here: > https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mail-archive.com%2Fbvarc%40bvarc.org%2F&data=05%7C02%7C%7Cb87d22bf8b2941d2f1fe08ddbf17440f%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638876828834411290%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=tmi%2FwIrte3gUzv9OdiI8DmnilU46paDrfkymOnzaOj4%3D&reserved=0 > > > ________________________________________________ > Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club > > BVARC mailing list > BVARC@bvarc.org > > https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmail.bvarc.org%2Fmailman%2Flistinfo%2Fbvarc_bvarc.org&data=05%7C02%7C%7Cb87d22bf8b2941d2f1fe08ddbf17440f%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638876828834420225%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=otHecXK%2Fml%2Fk3J0xyePxOyadif4Y6abGXU7GF0yw5wA%3D&reserved=0 > Publicly available archives are available here: > https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mail-archive.com%2Fbvarc%40bvarc.org%2F&data=05%7C02%7C%7Cb87d22bf8b2941d2f1fe08ddbf17440f%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638876828834429806%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=yMPKQMnW68%2FgswieCGhEedAtufOi6izC3B9D4Nb2Z04%3D&reserved=0 > > ________________________________________________ > Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club > > BVARC mailing list > BVARC@bvarc.org > http://mail.bvarc.org/mailman/listinfo/bvarc_bvarc.org > Publicly available archives are available here: > https://www.mail-archive.com/bvarc@bvarc.org/ >
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