how about 'computers and technology education to children'. Always an attention
grabber when you toss kids in.
Robert Citek <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: John House wrote:
> Good morning. I am John House and I am calling on behalf of
> ByteWorks. We are a community-based 501c-3 organization committed to
> providing computers for those who cannot afford one and technology
> education to our volunteers.
While many people do know that a 501(c)3 corporation is a non-profit, it
would be more obvious if it was stated that way. So, "We are a
community-base non-profit organization ..."
You may want to rework that last part because it leaves the impression
we are handing out computers, which is somewhat inaccurate.
BWorks mission is to provide opportunities and we use computers and
bicycles as the medium. So, I would change the last half to read "...
committed to providing opportunities to youth and adults in under-served
communities."
> We restore used computers and give them to children and adults
> through an "earn a computer program."
I would change "give" to "award". In my experience people seem to have
an aversion to the concept of giving hand-outs. They are much more
reception to the concept of rewarding effort, which more accurately
reflects what we do.
> Children receive a computer and one year of dial-up Internet service,
> while adults pay a $49 fee for the same service to cover the expense
> of software licenses.
>
> Would your business consider donating computers (Pentium III or
> higher) that you no longer use to us? Whom would I send information
> about the program and work out details with?
Just my $0.02.
We now just need to come up with a way to get rid of excess equipment.
Just something to think about given that in the next six to 12 months
about half of the core volunteers will have moved on.
Regards,
- Robert
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