As far as helping new people find partners, etc., etc., if I'm sitting at the table taking money, I'll chat with the new dancers who show up and find out a little bit about them - did they just move here, what neighborhood are they living in, how'd they find out about the dance - and that generally gives me enough to be able to take them over to someone I know and say something like, "This is Emily and she just moved here from Ohio - didn't you go to Cincinnati over the holidays?" Then the new person has something to talk about, and the experienced dancer knows to ask them to dance. It's not a blanket from-the-mic solution, but it helps fix things in a small way. Really, it's the same thing a good host would do at a party. Meg
On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 3:33 PM, <[email protected]> wrote: > Send Callers mailing list submissions to > [email protected] > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to > [email protected] > > You can reach the person managing the list at > [email protected] > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific > than "Re: Contents of Callers digest..." > > > Today's Topics: > > 1. Re: ideas for callers about sidelines (Laur) > 2. Re: Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about sidelines) (Laur) > 3. forgetting pencils for the moment... Ralph Page anyone??? > (Emily Addison) > 4. Re: Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about sidelines) > (Greg McKenzie) > 5. Re: Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about sidelines) > (Lindsay Morris) > 6. Re: forgetting pencils for the moment... Ralph Page anyone??? > (Richard Hart) > 7. Re: Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about sidelines) > (Ron T Blechner) > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Message: 1 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 11:56:36 -0800 (PST) > From: Laur <[email protected]> > To: Caller's discussion list <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [Callers] ideas for callers about sidelines > Message-ID: > <[email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 > > > > ?Hi Jill. > > I'll comment on things others have yet to mention, things observed and > shared with me in our MI communities. > > We often see dancers, or hear dancers comment, that they aren't dancing or > getting asked to dance. ?These are newer but regular dancers. Typically > these are women who come from a mindset where they need to be asked to > dance, even after they understand the culture is anyone can ask anyone. > ?They tend to wait on the sidelines to see if someone comes to them and by > the time no one has, it's too late to find a partner. Of course there are > also those who are very new or very shy. > > Callers,of course, mention please find someone that hasn't danced the last > dance and ask them to join you on the dance floor, or something of that > nature, reminding all that the fun is dancing with as many people as you > can, meeting and greeting, etc. ? > > I believe the stimulus to change this situation comes from other dancers. > ?In our case, it's women that have come to know each either at the dance or > socially sharing their experience, which is safe. ?Although It could be > uncomfortable. Most explain to the others that they come there to dance and > frankly don't wait to be asked any longer. ?Or tips like, instead of > sitting on the sideline, show someone that you are ready to dance, stand up > or walk near the the dance floor. ?Also that it's easier to stay dancing if > you are dancing. And, if someone does ask and you need a time out, suggest > you dance later, or "how about the next one"? ? Some women don't want to > dance with other women. ?I notice the more they are at a dance the less > important it becomes. ?Some of them have quickly started learning the other > role so they can Choose who to dance with and when, because of our gender > imbalance, although they prefer to have a male partner. ?Some who do > this now worry they are going to get "stuck" in that role. > > In summary, our community is our dancers. ?And they have the power to turn > the tides. ? > > Just like we have "dance angels" who help new dancers (or help distract > the too helpful ones), we can use our dancer community to support the > efforts to?acclimate?and educate and encourage. > > Laurie Pietravalle > West Michigan > ~ > When I dance, I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from > life. I can only be joyful and whole, that is why I dance. ~Hans Bos~ > ~ > > > >________________________________ > > From: jill allen <[email protected]> > >To: [email protected] > >Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:22 AM > >Subject: [Callers] ideas for callers about sidelines > > > >Have you as a caller or organizer had particular success in helping > people to find partners, especially when there is gender imbalance?? I > welcome comments about the issue of making sure all are having equal > opportunity to dance. I recently received a message from our contra dance > board asking callers for suggestions on this issue.? I believe that the > organizers are addressing this issue because we have had dancers leave > after not being able to find partners.? I will be sharing your comments > with our board and they will share these thoughts with callers as they are > hired to call a dance. > > > >Thank you! > >Jill Allen > >Lawrence, KS > > > > > > > > > >_______________________________________________ > >Callers mailing list > >[email protected] > >http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > > > > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 2 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 12:04:21 -0800 (PST) > From: Laur <[email protected]> > To: Caller's discussion list <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [Callers] Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about > sidelines) > Message-ID: > <[email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 > > I agree, Dave. > > It's interesting, I have seen the REALLY cool hip male dancers dance > together when there is a gender imbalance just for that reason. ?I'm > talking about too many females dancers. ?yes. ?the really cool hip dancers > are those that get community as well as good dance?etiquette?along with > good technique, style, rhythm and timing. > > Laurie P > West MI > ? > ~ > When I dance, I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from > life. I can only be joyful and whole, that is why I dance. ~Hans Bos~ > ~ > > > >________________________________ > > From: Dave Casserly <[email protected]> > >To: [email protected]; Caller's discussion list < > [email protected]> > >Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2013 1:56 PM > >Subject: Re: [Callers] Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about > sidelines) > > > >Could be true!? But in any event, that doesn't undermine my point-- those > >dancers, whether they book ahead or are just superb partners who get asked > >to dance very quickly, should shoulder some of the load of gender > >disparities by dancing with people of the same gender or sitting a dance > or > >two out on those nights. > > > >On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 2:41 PM, Kalia Kliban <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > >> On 1/17/2013 11:34 AM, Dave Casserly wrote: > >> > >>> Instead, I think we should aim any solutions at the people > >>> who dance with those of the opposite gender every single dance, and do > not > >>> sit out the entire night.? Those are the people who are most > competitive > >>> about partnering and book ahead the most. > >>> > >> > >> Not necessarily.? They could equally well be known to be superb dancers > >> and enjoyable partners who simply get asked to dance very quickly, and > >> never feel a need to book ahead. > >> > >> Kalia > >> > >> ______________________________**_________________ > >> Callers mailing list > >> [email protected] > >> http://www.sharedweight.net/**mailman/listinfo/callers< > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers> > >> > > > > > > > >-- > >David Casserly > >(cell) 781 258-2761 > >_______________________________________________ > >Callers mailing list > >[email protected] > >http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > > > > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 3 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 15:51:17 -0500 > From: Emily Addison <[email protected]> > To: [email protected] > Subject: [Callers] forgetting pencils for the moment... Ralph Page > anyone??? > Message-ID: > < > cad7wkux55pujy3hbw4xqbf9e1zevpxug1p6izez2fsbdjmj...@mail.gmail.com> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 > > Hi Folks, > > Thanks so much for the feedback re whether to use pencil or not! I've been > wanting to respond other business has been keeping me away from the > computer. Will respond shortly though. :) > > In the meantime, is anyone from the list going to Ralph Page and would they > like to get together over Saturday lunch or something of the kind??? > > I won't be on email as of tonight but I am volunteering on the registration > door from 830-930pm so maybe we could connect then??? > > Hope to see a few of you! > Emily > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 4 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 12:52:43 -0800 > From: Greg McKenzie <[email protected]> > To: "Caller's discussion list" <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [Callers] Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about > sidelines) > Message-ID: > <CAFqkWLtTN4j2vXhd8cQaSBLSxWzc_ENh8nLr= > [email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 > > Ron wrote: > > > Simply put: Booking ahead is a big threat to including new and/or > > infrequent dancers. > > > > No, actually. Booking ahead is not inherently a destructive thing. It > depends upon the purpose of the booker. Booking ahead can be a way of > securing a dance with a first-timer who might, otherwise, be preyed upon by > "icky" guys who favor young, innocent first-timers who are attractive...for > various reasons. For example: A young woman may have learned to swing > incorrectly which brings her into particularly intimate contact with every > gent who swings her. This woman may be "descended upon" by a few "icky" > guys who perceive this intimate contact as something the newcomer actually > enjoys when, really, she would love to learn that there are other ways to > swing that are less intrusive. > > Booking ahead may be the only way to get a dance with this woman to show > her a more comfortable swing position. Yes, I have done this, and the > women always seem relieved to learn that this is not a "normal" sort of > contact at a contra dance. If I did not book a dance with such a woman she > might leave the dance early deciding that the dance is "much too intimate > and familiar" for her tastes. > > There are other valid reasons to book ahead and they can be in support of a > generous and wonderful dance community. It might be true to say that > "excessive booking ahead" should be avoided. I book ahead only rarely, but > when I do most of the time it is with newcomers I want to encourage. > > It is good to see that many folks book ahead so rarely. It is worth noting > that someone who *always *books ahead will probably *never *have the > pleasure of dancing with these folks. The dedicated bookers and dedicated > non-bookers occupy different partnering dimensions and almost *never *dance > together. > > - Greg McKenzie > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 5 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 15:55:26 -0500 > From: Lindsay Morris <[email protected]> > To: "Caller's discussion list" <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [Callers] Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about > sidelines) > Message-ID: > < > cagnhc2k_mhn02khhhj0_lsc0odxcmbpgtpcg1vt59hua1k5...@mail.gmail.com> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 > > There's magic in not knowing who you're going to be dancing with next. > > -------------------- > Lindsay Morris > CEO, TSMworks > Tel. 1-859-539-9900 > [email protected] > > > On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 3:52 PM, Greg McKenzie <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > Ron wrote: > > > > > Simply put: Booking ahead is a big threat to including new and/or > > > infrequent dancers. > > > > > > > No, actually. Booking ahead is not inherently a destructive thing. It > > depends upon the purpose of the booker. Booking ahead can be a way of > > securing a dance with a first-timer who might, otherwise, be preyed upon > by > > "icky" guys who favor young, innocent first-timers who are > attractive...for > > various reasons. For example: A young woman may have learned to swing > > incorrectly which brings her into particularly intimate contact with > every > > gent who swings her. This woman may be "descended upon" by a few "icky" > > guys who perceive this intimate contact as something the newcomer > actually > > enjoys when, really, she would love to learn that there are other ways to > > swing that are less intrusive. > > > > Booking ahead may be the only way to get a dance with this woman to show > > her a more comfortable swing position. Yes, I have done this, and the > > women always seem relieved to learn that this is not a "normal" sort of > > contact at a contra dance. If I did not book a dance with such a woman > she > > might leave the dance early deciding that the dance is "much too intimate > > and familiar" for her tastes. > > > > There are other valid reasons to book ahead and they can be in support > of a > > generous and wonderful dance community. It might be true to say that > > "excessive booking ahead" should be avoided. I book ahead only rarely, > but > > when I do most of the time it is with newcomers I want to encourage. > > > > It is good to see that many folks book ahead so rarely. It is worth > noting > > that someone who *always *books ahead will probably *never *have the > > pleasure of dancing with these folks. The dedicated bookers and > dedicated > > non-bookers occupy different partnering dimensions and almost *never > *dance > > together. > > > > - Greg McKenzie > > _______________________________________________ > > Callers mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 6 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 15:57:53 -0500 > From: Richard Hart <[email protected]> > To: "Caller's discussion list" <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [Callers] forgetting pencils for the moment... Ralph Page > anyone??? > Message-ID: > <CAB16f6BqU7Mvh4gJyN+seV33YrQXZbL1TDS3OoBkQJVJ-P1= > [email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 > > I'll be there. I'll make a callers' table sign if I can remember. > > Rich Hart, > RPDLW Committee member. > > On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 3:51 PM, Emily Addison <[email protected]> > wrote: > > Hi Folks, > > > > Thanks so much for the feedback re whether to use pencil or not! I've > been > > wanting to respond other business has been keeping me away from the > > computer. Will respond shortly though. :) > > > > In the meantime, is anyone from the list going to Ralph Page and would > they > > like to get together over Saturday lunch or something of the kind??? > > > > I won't be on email as of tonight but I am volunteering on the > registration > > door from 830-930pm so maybe we could connect then??? > > > > Hope to see a few of you! > > Emily > > _______________________________________________ > > Callers mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 7 > Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2013 16:33:10 -0500 > From: Ron T Blechner <[email protected]> > To: "Caller's discussion list" <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [Callers] Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about > sidelines) > Message-ID: > <CAKRus= > [email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 > > Kalia: Not necessarily, but ... in my experience, seriously ... yeah, it's > mostly booking ahead. > > Dave: The coolest, hippest dancers I know are the ones who enjoy dancing > either role with either gender - at least sometimes. (Not to mention that > dancing both roles makes you better at both.) > > Linda: I have the pleasure of calling BIDA this Sunday, for the first time. > When I got an e-mail from my contact regarding BIDA's community values, I > was *very* excited. > > Greg: That's an interesting argument, regarding saving the dancer from an > "icky" partner. I would retort, however, that is just a band-aid for a > larger problem that the dance community should be addressing. I think > introducing the concept of booking ahead to new dancers is a *bad* idea, > because it gives them the impression early on that it's okay. I'd rather > solve the challenge of on-boarding new people through encouraging > experienced dancers to look for them, rather than falling back on booking > them in advance. I've also noticed new people often sit out a lot, because > they're shy/tired/unsure of protocol. There's often lots of opportunities > to sit out, walk up to the person while they're sitting out, then invite > them to dance the next one. (I think there's an implicit difference between > booking the next dance with someone already dancing versus someone sitting > out.) > > Lindsay: YES. > > -Ron Blechner > > contradances.tumblr.com > > On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 3:55 PM, Lindsay Morris <[email protected] > >wrote: > > > There's magic in not knowing who you're going to be dancing with next. > > > > > ------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > End of Callers Digest, Vol 101, Issue 40 > **************************************** >
