Ron wrote: > You need to watch this video: > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7b3yzjAv8c > > There are dances where you can take the greatest caller in the world, > the best band in the world, and there will be stubborn dancers who > just. Don't. Listen. >
Thank you Ron for responding and for posting this link. This is hilarious! I have seen it before. It perfectly typifies what I call the "selfish dancer" frame. This is how we imagine the worst behaviors of the most obstinate dancers. But there is a reason this is a cartoon. Real people are never quite this clueless...not when standing with other dancers, and not to the caller's face. Nor would you accuse anyone of behaving this way to their face. It is a "frame" we create in our own brain to stereotype dancers. As such it is quite useless when dealing with reality. The reality is that all of us are capable of clueless and obstinate behavior at times. And all of us can change our behavior...and rather quickly I might add. What it takes is interaction with a leader who assumes the best qualities of those they are leading. When I wrote: > "> But if the dancers perceive the process of partnering with first-timers > to > > be a “duty” or “task” instead of one of the primary reasons they enjoy > > attending open, public contra dances—and make the effort to drive two > hours > > to such a dance—this is the caller’s fault." > Ron responded with: > While, in my experience, the friendliness of the average folk dancer's > is better than the average person in general, we are far from the > picture you describe. > The picture I describe is a "frame" in your brain. You have to create it there and use it. People tend to fulfill our expectations of them, either positive or negative. It's about leadership. If you treat someone with respect and kindness they will be more likely to respond to you in a similar manner. If you treat them like a cartoon...well, I think you get the idea. Ron then wrote: > While you and I agree very much so on the caller's power and > responsibilities, you paint too rosy of a picture of people. Callers > can set a good example, promote friendliness and safety, inject energy > into a room, but not even the best diplomats in the world can stand in > front of a room full of people who are attending event to have > personal fun, and turn them into altruists who want to seek out new > dancers. > Callers are in a unique position. If they do their job well they are representing the interests of the entire hall...as well as a tradition that spans generations. That is not omnipotence but it is more influence than anyone else in the hall. Ron also wrote: > I also think that by alleging this "it's the caller's fault", you > de-emphasize the things that *do* work to make dances more friendly. I > think they are long-term initiatives that must be done by organizers > in conjunction with callers. For example, the dances I attend that > have clear, written, expressed organizational values that promote > friendliness and safety are, by no coincidence, the dances that are > the friendliest and most inviting towards new dancers. > Well, you might have a point here. All of that is important, and useful. I emphasize the caller's role only because this is a discussion list for callers. Isn't it? And... > That's why we have these discussions here - because it's the community > leaders acting together, and not one person at a dance - the caller. > This is a *community* dance. Attitudes in a community are dictated by > the whole community, not one person on stage with a mic. > Absolutely. I agree fully. As the group facilitator and a leader the caller is in a good position to inspire leadership in others as well. The whole community is needed to make any progress on these issues. The caller leads by multiple means. Some of them have been described as: "Leading by example", and "Leading by omission." I use the term "Leading by assumption" to describe what I outlined above. A lot of it has to do with what a person decides NOT to say and NOT to do. If anyone wants to discuss the ways callers...and others can lead, I would love to have such a thread. Best Regards, Greg McKenzie
