I just don't accept that men not wanting to dance with other men necessarily has anything to do with homosexuality.
Not to derail the flirty contradances discussion any further, but I wanted to put in my two cents. And to be fair, I *can* only speak about the US here, but I suspect much of this will apply to the UK as well. At the very least, I want to explain how men not wanting to dance with other men almost certainly has something to do with homosexuality and fear thereof--and you can decide yourself whether or not that explanation applies in the UK. If dancing with another man is not a particular male dancer's first choice, because they prefer to dance with women, or it's too complicated to work out the lead/follow dynamics, or what have you, that I can accept. But men being so averse to dancing with other men that it makes them decidedly uncomfortable to participate in a same-sex swing? Seems homophobic. (And of course, there may be other reasons behind this... but homophobia seems the simplest explanation for the majority of cases.) I'll explain. "Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender." I would argue that the reason for this discomfort with same-sex swinging stems from the men not wanting to be perceived as gay. NOT THAT THIS IS (necessarily) A CONSCIOUS SENTIMENT! I think it mostly stems from societal attitudes that are, at this point, incredibly deeply embedded. But, think about how much more social license female friends have to touch each other than male friends do. How men are expected to be constantly reinforcing and proving their masculinity by talking about sex, cars, etc. Think about the implications of the phrase "no homo"--that being suspected to be gay would be *the worst thing, oh my god* and one must avoid it and make disclaimers about their actions. Here's a superbowl ad from a few years back<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oooij6sQYgI>: look at how a) men kissing is hilarious and b) when they've done something gay, these guys freak out and need to reassert their manliness. Again, I'm not saying this is how any of the contra-men in question would react to, say, an accidental gay kiss... but these are the social norms that we're working within. So to me, two men being uncomfortable with close physical contact *absolutely* says, "no, we don't want to get too close or we'll seem/be gay," that is, a fear of homosexuality (or perception as such, or implication of such), that is, homophobia. But, I'm really curious what other explanations you can offer for this discomfort. It's just that, to me (being a gender studies major and all), this seems like the most obvious one. But I really am eager to hear alternate explanations. Forgive the gender-studies rant, I just get nerdily excited about this stuff! I hope that was somewhat coherent, but if I lost you anywhere, I can certainly clarify (or someone else can jump in and say it again more lucidly). Cheers, Maia 2013/4/10 Colin Hume <[email protected]> > On Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:30:58 -0400, Dave Casserly wrote: > > I'm not really sure what you're trying to say with your analogy > > here. Do you mean that people in England are actually more > > homophobic, and that people in America should accept that because, > > well, we wouldn't want English people coming here and telling us > > what's right and what's wrong either, when they don't know our > > culture and haven't danced here? If so, then you're right, that's > > a premise I disagree with. > > Dave - > > According to Wikipedia (and other online sources), > > "Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings > toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as > being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender." > > I just don't accept that men not wanting to dance with other men > necessarily has anything to do with homosexuality. But I can see that > we have radically different attitudes, and I don't want to get into a > long argument about it! Since you probably won't be calling contras > in England it's not that relevant. > > Colin Hume > > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers >
