Well said, Chris. -Don
On Sun, Feb 23, 2014 at 3:45 PM, Chris Weiler (Home) < [email protected]> wrote: > Callers list members, > > First, let me apologize. Due to my health problems and the recent arrival > of my infant son, I have not been able to give this list the attention it > deserves. I have not been on top of moderation requests and have not kept > up with conversations. The most I've been able to do, most of the time, is > read the subject lines. > > Now, I was very concerned when the tread titled "A Call For Civility" hit > my inbox and read it. Shortly after, I received Greg McKenzie's > unsubscription notification. I now have been able to read the conversations > leading up to that thread. I've been struggling with how to respond to the > callers list community about this, but I can't let this go any longer, so > I'm just going to have to go with my gut and stop trying to puzzle it out > with my head. > > One of the things, actually it's the thing I love the most about the > contra dance community is it's inclusive and tolerant nature. When I > started dancing, I was socially awkward and bumbling. The community > welcomed me each week. I made friends. I got better at social situations. I > found a home. I found love there on the dance floor. I have seen it over > and over again at dances: socially marginal people being welcomed, > tolerated and accommodated in ways that they had never experienced anywhere > else. This is the ideal that makes our community special. This is why I > dedicate myself to creating this community wherever I live, dance or call. > It's why I started this list, so we could learn how to make it better > together. > > That's why I've been so disappointed with how Greg was treated by this > community. We are supposed to be the leaders. We are supposed to be the > bearers of the ideals and show our dance communities how it's done. I've > never really understood the problems that people had with Greg. Yes, he has > strong opinions. Yes, he is socially awkward and doesn't always communicate > his intentions clearly. But I've always found him to be straightforward > with his opinions, positive in his criticism, creative in his thinking and > open to feedback. He and I butted heads many times early in the list > history and over on trad-dance-callers. I've learned a lot in my > discussions with him and reading his posts. I never took any of his > criticisms personally, because he criticized my ideas, not me. He > challenged my thinking on this list and I came out better for it. Not > because he convinced me, but because I thought through my ideas better and > understood why they were right. Although a lot of times, he convinced me to > change my ideas, too. > > As part of his social awkwardness, sometimes he crossed the line in a > post. Every time, when people pointed it out to him, he apologized. Yes, he > crossed the line when he criticized the calling of people in an easily > identifiable video. But he apologized for it. Twice. And then was > repeatedly taken to task afterwards. Then talked about derisively in the > third person on-list. And he was right - other people added the identifying > names, not him. A valuable voice in this community was driven out because > his intentions were misunderstood. Several disapproved of his "tone". I'm > not sure how people can interpret "tone" in an e-mail. It's a medium > fraught with opportunities for misinterpretation. To think that you > understand the "tone" that the author was intending seems crazy to me. We > have to give each other the benefit of the doubt if we are going to > continue to be a healthy and supportive community. > > Now, I'm very sad to hear that people have decided not to post because of > Greg. I understand how hard it is to have your ideas challenged and > criticized. But I don't think that I ever read a post of his that was > purposefully mean-spirited or an individual attack. If you have an example > of such and instance, then please forward it to me off-list. Let's not > start another public bash-fest. If you have solid, factual criticisms of > him, then I do want to hear them. It's just that what is being said now > isn't justified by my experience with him. > > I encourage people to put their ideas forward. We're here to find the best > ideas here and make the dancer's experience the best it can be. To become > the best callers we can be, we need ideas to be shared, discussed, > challenged and debated so we can find the best ones. We also need this to > be a safe place for people to ask their questions and share their ideas, so > keep being the positive, supportive community I know you can be. > > We're better than this. We can have the free exchange of ideas with the > same acceptance and tolerance that we have on the dance floor. This is what > has made this list special for the last 9 1/2 years. Let's not loose sight > of what's important. > > Chris Weiler > SharedWeight co-founder/moderator > Craftsbury, VT > > > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers >
