I think the real crux of the issue is this. How far are we willing to go to
create a safe dance space? The problem is, if you are going to say "if you are
uncomfortable with your shadow, feel free to move", that could cause a whole
new realm of problems for dancers. How would you feel if, after someone
identified you as their shadow, they moved to another line? If given this
option, I foresee people moving for all sorts of reasons that I identified in
my previous email (too fat, too old, too new, etc), and none of them were
related to creepers.
The caller is there to help build community. How is it building community of
you suggest "if you don't want to dance with someone, then move"? You are
basically inviting people to refuse to interact with people for ANY reason -
creeper or otherwise. I have never, in 15 years of dancing, heard a caller
suggest avoiding dancing with any person.
Building community means that everyone is welcome and treated like they are
welcome. Even society's outcasts. Of course we should ALL be on alert for
people who behave inappropriately, but I think we are beginning to move away
from a shared sense of community to promoting dancing with only people you are
the most comfortable with. Which basically means cliques.
It is a risk to dance with brand new people who come to your dance. You know
NOTHING about a person who comes to your dance. Suggesting that you may wish
to avoid this person because that person might be creepy - or might not be -
really seems harmful to community building.
Please note that I am not saying ignore creepers. If there is a problem
dancer, the community needs to deal with that person and get that person out of
the community if necessary. But if interactions with people might somehow
become harmful and we wish to ward off all potential problems, then don't call
dances with shadow swings, and maybe we ought not to call dances with neighbor
swings. Then you could never have to swing any person not of your choosing.
Perry
From: Ron Blechner via Callers <[email protected]>
To: Eric Black <[email protected]>
Cc: callers <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, September 9, 2015 10:01 AM
Subject: [Callers] Creating a safe dance space (was Shadow Swing Disclaimers)
Erik,I'm alarmed at reading your reply in the shadow swing thread.I have seen,
as a dancer, caller, and organizer, at a variety of dances, far too many
incidents of inappropriate behavior. I refuse to simply wash my hands and say
"oh, it's not the caller's place to worry about this." A caller is the MC, the
coordinator, and often from the stage we can see everything happening in the
room. It absolutely is our paid job to help create a safe dance space.I want to
focus on what seems to be the crux of your statement from the shadow swing
email:" that interpersonal conflicts will happen, and yet social interactions
are required. They understand how to make everyone work together. Family
schisms are inevitable."How many "conflicts" does it take before we take
responsibility and address inappropriate behavior at a dance? I have seen many
occasions where *one* conflict means a dancer who is new never returns, or an
experienced dancer never returns, or they wind up having to spend every night
avoiding *that creepy dude*. I know first hand what having a *single* bad
experience can mean for a dancer.So if we leave these as "inevitable", then the
people we lose aren't the people doing the inappropriate behavior - no, those
jerks stay, stubbornly - we lose the nicer people who were victimized,
harassed, made uncomfortable.Is that the kind of dance environment you want to
promote?I don't believe so.Instead, asking questions, as Maia did, about things
a caller can do to create a safe dance space, is essential to long term
community building. This doesn't mean we are "dance police" or do anything
extraordinary. But it does mean that we should be considerate to dancers and
not write off their bad experiences as things that they need to merely tolerate
and "be an adult" as you put it.Sincerely,
Ron Blechner
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