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MyFree.com's Fast Forward - 8/17/04
You Just GOTTA Share This With Somebody - Forward It Now!
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TODAY'S Fast Forward:


Dear Dogs,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can
actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also
know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for
years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely,
Your Overwhelmed Owner


Carole Libbe,
Your Fast Forward Editor


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