\|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ MyFree.Com's Jokes, Jokes, Jokes Daily - August 20, 2004 Life's Short...Laugh Now! /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\
Help keep this publication free - visit our sponsors today! ----------------------------SPONSOR----------------------------- Free Bottle of Propel Fitness Water Receive a coupon for a complimentary bottle of low calorie, vitamin charged Propel Fitness Water from the Quaker Oats Company and take a brief survey. <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf815 ">Click Here</a> ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1. RIDDLE ME THIS (Scroll to bottom for the solution to today's riddle) I cannot be seen only heard and I will not speak unless spoken to. What am I? Visit our new website to see if your slogan has been posted and while you're there check out our growing list of clever slogans and bumper stickers. Enjoy! <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf392 ">Click Here</a> Do you have a favorite sticker or slogan you'd like to share? If so, please submit it to: <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf469 ">Click Here</a>. Maybe you'll see YOUR favorite slogan or sticker on our website. Be sure to include your name, city, and state! 2. A Travel Agent, who's been in the business for thirty years, writes: ********************* I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response (click). **************** A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!" ******************* An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time." ************************* An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! ************************* A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. ************************* A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!" *********************************** A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those!" I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!" *********************** A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said. *********************** ----------------------------SPONSOR----------------------------- Yours FREE! - NEW 2004-2005 Edition: Work-At-Home Directory Earn a second income or start a new career. * You pick the hours * You choose the home employment opportunities that interest you * Brand new directory. * It's fast and easy. * Over 175 exciting opportunities. * Work for one or several. Start today! Get the 2004 Prime's Work at Home Directory for FREE (small s&h fee). <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=ppi153 ">Click Here</a> ---------------------------------------------------------------- SUBMIT A JOKE! The great MyFree.com joke hunt is going on right now! If you'd like to see YOUR favorite joke in print, click the link below: <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf462 ">Click Here</a> Be sure to include your name, city, and state! Live, Love, Laugh, Christine Johnson Editorial Director SOLUTION TO TODAY'S RIDDLE: An echo. * * * . . . . . . GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS. . . . . . . . . 1) Manage All Your E-mail Subscriptions Here (Add, Remove, Change): http://join.myfree.com/cp/[EMAIL PROTECTED] 2) Free E-Greetings & Postcards: http://postcards.MyFree.com 3) Free Personalized E-mail: http://asp.MyFree.com/postmaster/default.asp?src=mfn 4) Our Hottest Offers, Updated Weekly: http://asp.MyFree.com/qne/default.asp?src=mfn 5) You Are Subscribed As: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 6) Postal Address: 3400 Dundee Road, Northbrook, IL 60062 7) Got A Web Site? Want To Make Money? 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