<~*~><~*~>< Humor-Exprezz
<~*~><~*~>< You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. Live the Lavish Life Sweepstakes When's the last time you got treated like a star? Let us pay while you get pampered! CitySearch's Lavish Life Giveaway! IT'S NICE TO BE TREATED LIKE A VIP! Click here to enter! http://mocda.com/1/c/61479/206927/363779/363779 <a href="http://mocda.com/1/c/61479/206927/363779/363779";> AOL users go here </a> The Asylum Tiger Pit Toons You know.. you can't get much lower or dirty than a Tiger Pit.. Our editor Tiger has some of the best adult toons, and all for free.. If you want to be lower than pond scum.. then you need to send a blank e-mail to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <~*~><~*~> In The News <~*~><~*~> A Dutch driver was covered in hundreds of liters of manure when a tank burst on a truck carrying fertilizer, police said on Thursday. The tank had a small window which burst, probably due to pressure. The man said he had no time to back away his car or close his window. (Yuk!) Police said the man, whose car was sprayed with an estimated 400 gallons of liquid manure, escaped injury though his car had to be towed away. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Military personnel, complete your bachelor's degree online! A veteran at serving adults in the military, Bellevue University understands the needs of active duty and transitioning personnel. Apply military training and your associate's degree to any of our 16 bachelor's degrees that you can complete online in 15 months - no matter where you serve. http://mocda1.com/1/c/61479/209713/363779/363779 <a href="http://mocda1.com/1/c/61479/209713/363779/363779";> AOL users go here </a> Gooos-This-N-That-Group: This is a group for adults who like to send and receive the following: html sites, jpg/gifs, items to decorate your web sites and email pages, cute 'lil cards to pass around, anything non-adult basically, plus adult cartoons, humor, and erotic/fantasy art. NO PORN! Come check us out! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Gooos-This-N-That-Group <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big boob." The bishop rose to close the session and remarked, "That's okay. We like big boobs." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care? These are actual movie titles and the year made: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies Year: 1964 Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter Year: 1965 Mantango, The Fungus of Terror Year: 1963 Rat Fink a Boo Boo Year: 1964 Wine, Woman and Horses Year: 1937 <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Links: Crossword Puzzles <a href=" http://www.primate.wisc.edu/people/hamel/cp.html "> aol</a> Jokeworm Jokes <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/ "> click</a> Jokeworm Trivia <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/trivia/ "> click</a> The Olympics <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke67g.html ">aol </a> Diamonds <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke68g.html ">aol </a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner: ~ 15 minutes looking for assignment. ~ 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. ~ 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. ~ 8 minutes in the bathroom. ~ 10 minutes getting a snack. ~ 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. ~ 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. ~ 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about half of them." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income. He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy Either way, you get your dog back!" <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> See ya! <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. We are not responsible for the availability of, and/or the content located on or through, any such third-party sites. All Content � By their Creators. Subscribe address.. 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