Blank "Its been a really hard few weeks. I do honestly doubt myself and my
parenting skills a lot lately."
Awww, Sam! I hate to hear you say that! Don't doubt yourself. You're doing a great
job at facing a really difficult challenge. You're not sitting around hoping this
will fix itself, you are actively pursuing help and guidance to get through this
problem - that is sooo much more than many of us parents are smart enough to do! You
are also smart to find ways to vent, here and hopefully with your friends and family.
It's so important to find ways to get some of your frustrations and concerns out so
you're not bottling them up.
I think so many of children's behaviours are personality related, not "parenting"
related. The kind of strong willed behaviour you're describing is like that. I don't
think you can "parent" that away and I don't think you should. It can be such an
asset. Strong willed people are less likely to be followers. They won't succumb to
peer pressure as easily as others. They are the people who are often very successful
in their education, careers, etc... They can also have trouble accepting authority.
I think the parenting challenge here is to find ways to positively channel the
positive aspects of the strong willed personality and find strategies to minimize the
negative aspects of this personality.
"I just hope the teenage years are nicer to me (ha ha I know!!)"
Don't psych yourself out about the teenage years! You are really on top of her
behaviours now. It is hard work right now, but you may find ways to work "with" her
behaviour, rather than "fight" it. If you are able to do that now, you'll be all set
for the teenage years and be way ahead of the other parents who dealing with these
kinds of behaviours for the first time when the hormones hit! So try to find a
positive side to this whole thing. Be pleased that your daughter won't be "pushed"
around and excited to know that you're identifying the issues now so that you have
lots of time to develop a really great relationship with her.
Big ((((HUGS)))). I know it's hard. I wish you the best.
Martha
Mom to Hayley (6) and Rachel and Sam (3)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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