Congrats to you, and especially Katy, on having such a good week!

As for the having more than one child, you never know what you're going to 
get with the second (or third or fourth I imagine!).  Our first didn't like 
to sleep and wanted to eat all the time as a baby, and was very slow to roll 
over, crawl, walk, etc.  Our second is a very sleepy baby and eats quickly - 
and started rolling over at 3 months!  He's only 4 1/2 months right now, but 
already is so different from his older brother at the same age...  But 
having a second isn't twice the work - it's much more!  And our oldest has 
done a great job of adapting to having a younger brother - although the 
occasional jealousy tantrum does arise...

But this is without the younger one actively trying to get his older 
brother's toys... in a few months, when the crawling has been mastered - all 
bets are off!  :-)

All that to say, it's amazing what you can adapt to and manage.  5 years 
ago, I would have said you were nuts if you would tell me I'd end up with 2 
boys under 3...  Now, I seem to be coping.  Or at least effectively deluding 
myself!

Have a great weekend all!
:-) Lisa


>From: Samantha Morris <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Reply-To: "canada" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: "canada" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Subject: [canada] RE: for Sam
>Date: Fri, 10 Sep 2004 10:45:57 -0700
>
>Thanks so much Martha.  I appreciate your kind words.  What you say makes
>total sense.  Its just hard to see the end of the tunnel right now.  I see
>you have twins that are 3.  I honestly don't know how people have more than
>1 child.  Perhaps if Katy hadn't been my first I would have bit the bullet
>again.  I'm 37 and I don't know if I can handle doing this all again.  Part
>of me wonders if Katy had a sibling she might be easier, but my 
>psychologist
>said that she could be worse!!
>
>I know what you mean about not being a follower.  I've always believed 
>that.
>She is smart as a whip.  People are always amazed at her command of the
>English language.  She knows some pretty big words too =-)  I'm just so
>scared about doing the right thing in my parenting to channel all this 
>stuff
>the right way.  Its such a critical part of making them who they will
>become.
>
>Anyway.  Thanks very much for writing.  You don't know how much I 
>appreciate
>it!!
>
>Katy had a good day at Lori's yesterday.  She didn't throw up all week =-).
>Hopefully we are on our way to getting over that little phase.  I took her
>to buy a treat on the way home yesterday since she was such a good girl for
>Lori all week.  I just hope we can build on this now.
>
>Thanks again!
>Sam
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: doug [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Sent: Friday, September 10, 2004 6:16 AM
>To: canada
>Subject: [canada] for Sam
>
>
>         "Its been a really hard few weeks.  I do honestly doubt myself and
>my parenting skills a lot lately."
>
>Awww, Sam!  I hate to hear you say that!  Don't doubt yourself.  You're
>doing a great job at facing a really difficult challenge.  You're not
>sitting around hoping this will fix itself, you are actively pursuing help
>and guidance to get through this problem - that is sooo much more than many
>of us parents are smart enough to do!  You are also smart to find ways to
>vent, here and hopefully with your friends and family.  It's so important 
>to
>find ways to get some of your frustrations and concerns out so you're not
>bottling them up.
>
>I think so many of children's behaviours are personality related, not
>"parenting" related.  The kind of strong willed behaviour you're describing
>is like that.  I don't think you can "parent" that away and I don't think
>you should.  It can be such an asset.  Strong willed people are less likely
>to be followers.  They won't succumb to peer pressure as easily as others.
>They are the people who are often very successful in their education,
>careers, etc...  They can also have trouble accepting authority.  I think
>the parenting challenge here is to find ways to positively channel the
>positive aspects of the strong willed personality and find strategies to
>minimize the negative aspects of this personality.
>
>         "I just hope the teenage years are nicer to me (ha ha I know!!)"
>
>
>Don't psych yourself out about the teenage years!  You are really on top of
>her behaviours now.  It is hard work right now, but you may find ways to
>work "with" her behaviour, rather than "fight" it.  If you are able to do
>that now, you'll be all set for the teenage years and be way ahead of the
>other parents who dealing with these kinds of behaviours for the first time
>when the hormones hit!  So try to find a positive side to this whole thing.
>Be pleased that your daughter won't be "pushed" around and excited to know
>that you're identifying the issues now so that you have lots of time to
>develop a really great relationship with her.
>
>Big ((((HUGS)))).  I know it's hard.  I wish you the best.
>
>Martha
>Mom to Hayley (6) and Rachel and Sam (3)
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