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Hi this is the editor of
Jims Jokes, Cartoons, & Wallpapers
I have a weekly mailer
Sent out 1 Day Per Week
depending on your mailing group)
I'm retired from the US Navy
MY HUMOR HAS A TENDENCY
TO HAVE A 45 DEGREE STARBOARD LIST
All material is Rated Pg or R (no XXX)
This is for the 18+ crowd
This is a no holds barred jokelist
I have jokes Guaranteed to offend everyone
THE EASY ONES TWICE
Subscribe:
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In The News
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A New York City man accused of leaving a small tip at a
restaurant was arrested, fingerprinted and photographed for
a mug shot.
T. Umberto faces a misdemeanor charge of theft of services
after he and his fellow diners argued with restaurant managers
over the legality of requiring an 18 percent tip for large
parties.
The restaurant owner said all the menus have the notice, and
the waitress informed the group. He said he did not choose to
pursue charges because of the money, but because Umberto's
group was obnoxious.
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Would you like a seafood, pasta, home-style or grill-style meal? Then click
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Naughty Circle of Friends
Want to join a different kind of group?
We're a little bit naughty but always nice.We share graphics,
recipes and friendship.
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Today's Toons:
Joint Account
<a href=" http://www.squirtsplace.com/SFS2004/jointaccount.jpg ">aol</a>
Cat Notes
<a href=" http://www.loonyhumor.com/jkcartoons/252.jpg "> aol</a>
Jokeworm Pics
<a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/ "> click</a>
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http://www.humor-exprezz.com
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Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care?
It is said that New Zealand has 3 million people and 60 million
sheep.
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Today's Links:
Skytopia
<a href=" http://www.skytopia.com/project/fruit/fruit.html "> aol</a>
Knowledge Hound
<a href=" http://www.knowledgehound.com/ "> aol</a>
Windows 2006
<a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke73g.html ">aol </a>
Stuff my kids taught me
<a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke74g.html ">aol </a>
Jokeworm Jokes
<a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/ "> click</a>
Jokeworm Trivia
<a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/trivia/ "> click</a>
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Astrology, Zoology, and everything in-between,
If there's an ezine about it, we've probably
got it... what's better, they're all F-R-E-E
<a href=" http://www.iwnl.net?13 "> aol</a>
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Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which
by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She
looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but heard no answer.
"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but
still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and
scared and yelled at the top of her voice,
"HELLO!!! IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"
Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away:
"We're down here..."
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http://www.humor-exprezz.com
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True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts
to ask, "Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere? "
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In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower
and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all
kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with
that?"
And Man said, "Yes!"
And Woman said, "I'll have one, too...with sprinkles."
And lo they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane, and combined them.
And Woman went from size 4 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green garden salad."
And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter
dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed
its own platter.
And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding
copious quantities of salt.
And Man packed on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his children
might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering
light and started wearing stretchy Lycra jogging suits.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double cheese-
burger.
Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!"
And Satan said: " It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
Satan chuckled and created HMOs and Medicare.
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