<~*~><~*~>< Humor-Exprezz
<~*~><~*~>< You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. Music Downloads from eMusic FREE 50 MP3s and 2-week trial from eMusic. Choose from over 400,000 songs. Just $.25 or less per download after your free trial. 50 FREE MP3s are yours to keep just for trying eMusic today! http://frus-onket.com/1/c/61479/205684/364340/364340 <a href="http://frus-onket.com/1/c/61479/205684/364340/364340";> AOL users go here </a> The Asylum Simply Idiotic Now twice a week you can follow Noiz as he points your cursors toward the Simply Idiotic on the internet. Funny sites, cool movies and outrageous sounds are just a mouse click away! Think you've seen the webs' best????? Grab something firm and send a blank e-mail to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <~*~><~*~> In The News <~*~><~*~> A man was sentenced to probation Monday for snatching the toupee off the head of another man at a restaurant in Pennsylvania. The 25-year-old pleaded guilty Monday to theft by unlawful taking. He was sentenced to 23 months' probation, fined $500 and ordered to write a letter of apology. The victim was sitting in a restaurant in Harrisburg when the prankster ripped the hairpiece off his head. The hairpiece snatcher claims he did it for a $100 dare. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Get your Portable Camcorder Today GET YOUR FREE* Camcorder TODAY! Send me info on how I can get a FREE* Camcorder There're no Shipping and Hidden Costs involved. Sign up now for TopFreeGifts email newsletters! http://frus-onket1.com/1/c/61479/182836/364340/364340 *your participation in our program is required http://frus-onket1.com/1/c/61479/182836/364340/364340 <a href="http://frus-onket1.com/1/c/61479/182836/364340/364340";> AOL users go here </a> ~Adult Laughter~ Join Bri for the wildest, funniest jokes out there.! He promises to make you laugh & shake your head, In disbelief at what he has found for you. You may complain about him or anything, In his reader's comment section.! Let him know what a freak you think he is. Join him six days a week for fun.! 'Six times a week from Monday to Saturday' [EMAIL PROTECTED] <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Toons: I feel... http://www.wtv-zone.com/dlamrx/Cartoons2/Dont-Fit-In.jpg Great Gift For That Special Someone... <a href=" http://www.squirtsplace.com/funnypics/toiletlid.jpg "> aol</a> Jokeworm Pics <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/ "> click</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> The pupils were assigned the task of writing an essay titled "The Most Beautiful Thing I Ever Saw". One of the students finished his essay in less than a minute. He wrote,"The most beautiful thing I ever saw was just too beautiful for words." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Links: Ghost Games <a href=" http://www.gamesgnome.com/arcade/ghosts/ "> aol</a> Why Leaves Change Color <a href=" http://tinyurl.com/5ruj3 :> aol</a> Mr. See <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke77g.html ">aol </a> Staten Island <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke78g.html ">aol </a> Jokeworm Jokes <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/ "> click</a> Jokeworm Trivia <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/trivia/ "> click</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Fifty of the strangest achievements according to a Special 50th Anniversary Edition of Guinness World Records 2005 1 FASTEST TALKER: In 1995, Canadian Sean Shannon recited Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy, 260 words, in 23.8secs. 2 HEAVIEST VEHICLE PULLED OVER 100FT: This year, Derek Boyer of Australia pulled a 30.68-ton truck-trailer combination 30.5 metres. 3 HIGHEST SHALLOW DIVE: In January, Danny Higginbottom of Louisiana dived 8.90m into 30cm of water. 4 BREATH HELD VOLUNTARILY: The USA's Robert Foster held his breath for 13mins 42.5secs in 1959. 5 LONGEST TIME TO ENDURE FULL BODY ICE CON- TACT: Win Hoff of the Netherlands stood in an ice cube-filled tube for 1hr 17mins in January. 6 MOST CONSECUTIVE POGO-STICK JUMPS: In 1990, Gary Stewart did 177,737 in California. 7 MOST GLASSES BALANCED ON THE CHIN: In 2001, Azurite Furman managed 75 pint beer glasses for 10.6secs in New York. 8 MOST ONE-FINGER PUSH-UPS: In 1992, Paul Lynch performed 124 in London. 9 OLDEST PERSON TO LOOP THE LOOP: In 1998, Adeline Albeit, 95, did a glider loop over Leicestershire. 10 HIGHEST TIGHTROPE WALK: Frenchman Michael Mennen walked a 3,150 metre-high tightrope in 1989. 11 WALKING - GREATEST DOCUMENTED LIFETIME MILEAGE: Between 1969 and 2000, Arthur Beset of Florida, USA, walked 34,501 miles on seven continents while carrying a 3.7-metre cross. 12 HAIRIEST FAMILY: Mexicans Victor and Gabriel Gomez have 98% of their bodies covered in fur. 13 HIGHEST G-FORCE ENDURED VOLUNTARILY: 82.6g for 0.04secs by Eli L Beeding Jr of the USA in 1958. He spent three days in hospital afterwards. 14 LONGEST ATTACK OF HICCUPS: Charles Osborne of the USA - 1922 to 1990. 15 LONGEST TATTOO SESSION: In 2003, Chris Goodwill spent 33 hours tattooing Kevin Budden in South East London. 16 LONGEST TIME WITH A NAIL IN THE HEAD: Robin Hanshaw of Stoke Poges, Bucks, had a one-inch rusty nail stuck between his ear and eye for 22 years. 17 MOST COMPULSIVE SWALLOWER: In 1927, a Canadian woman had 2,533 objects removed from her stomach, including 947 pins. 18 MOST LIGHTNING STRIKES SURVIVED: Roy C Sullivan from Virginia, USA, was struck for the seventh time in 1977. 19 MOST PIERCED MAN: Luis Antonio Aguero from Cuba has 230 piercings. 20 MOST CHILDREN DELIVERED: American Bobbie McCaughey had seven delivered by Caesarean in 1997. 21 MOST FEET SNIFFED: In a 15-year career, Madeline Albrecht sniffed 5,600 feet while working for footcare experts Dr Scholl in the USA. 22 MOST ELASTIC MAN: Pierre Beauchemin is nicknamed Mr. Gumby for his ability to contort his arms and legs. 23 FASTEST BALLOON DOG MADE BEHIND BACK: Britain's Craig Keith made a balloon poodle in 9.26secs in May, all with his hands behind his back. 24 FASTEST SPEED DRAGGED BEHIND A MOTORBIKE: Gary Rothwell of Liverpool was dragged at 156mph on 2mm titanium-soled boots in 1999. 25 MOST SPOONS BALANCED ON FACE: America's Tim Johnston, 12, balanced 15 on his face for 30secs in May. 26 -50 later this week... (c) Guinness World Records 2005: Special 50th Anniversary Edition, <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. We are not responsible for the availability of, and/or the content located on or through, any such third-party sites. All Content � By their Creators. Subscribe address.. [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsub address ... [EMAIL PROTECTED] (`'�.�(`'�.� �.�'�) �.�'�) ��HumorExprezz`� (�.�'�(�.�'� `'�.�)`' �.�) �.�� ( `�.� `�.� ) �.�)� (.�� `*. *. 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