Hey Martha, Thanks for the book tip. I'm going to run out this weekend and see if I can pick up a copy. My only problem is that I never have time to read. It will probably end up being another parenting book I've bought that sits on the shelf for when I have some time =-P My Psychologist doesn't specialize in children, but she does do families. She has lots of toys and crayons so she must deal with children from time to time. She also had 2 of her own that are now 30 and 35. I react the same way with Katy sometimes when she's angry. She pushes and pushes and then I snap. That is soooo bad!!! I have to stop. My psych said that you have to keep an even tone and acknowledge their feeling like "Yes katy I know your upset aren't you. Yes I know. Well you can have this, or that.... (choices)" If she starts having a tantrum I'm supposed to take her to her room and say "Your hurting my ears" (very calmly) "When your finished come out and talk to me". If she tries to come out while she's still crying, I have to put her back in and say that "she's hurting my ears still and I'll talk to her when she's calmed down". I've tried it once or twice and it has worked. Its just hard to remember all this stuff when your stuck in the emotions. You asked what kenesiology is. I'm not really sure, but its something like acupuncture (without the needles). Here is a little blurb about what it is: WHAT IS ADVANCED KINESIOLOGY? Kinesiology is a natural health care system which uses gentle muscle testing to evaluate many functions of the body in the structural, chemical, neurological, and biochemical realms.
Kinesiological muscle testing does not assess strength, but tests the integrity of the many factors which determine its response when called upon to contract. Kinesiology testing does not diagnose disease. Muscle testing enables analysis which detects minor functional imbalances. Minor imbalances when not corrected, accumulate and cause compensations. Compensations compound each other, lead to functional changes, and give rise to symptoms of discomfort, pain or maybe allergic reactions. If these warnings are ignored, disease can follow. Using massage, nutrition, and contact points, Kinesiology helps with: emotions and anxieties, specific personal dietary intake and supplements for nutritional deficiencies, structural imbalances and energy blocks. Kinesiology balances the whole person, which enhances health and well-being. Health wards off disease. Kinesiology is truly preventive. Thanks again for your advice on the book. I'll try and get that and READ it =-) Have a great weekend everyone! Sam -----Original Message----- From: doug [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Friday, September 17, 2004 6:22 AM To: canada Subject: [canada] catching up...Sam "I see you have twins that are 3. I honestly don't know how people have more than 1 child. Perhaps if Katy hadn't been my first I would have bit the bullet again. I'm 37 and I don't know if I can handle doing this all again. Part of me wonders if Katy had a sibling she might be easier, but my psychologist said that she could be worse!!" Sam - In a way, I think more children makes it easier. Rachel is my strong-willed child. I think if she were the only child, things would be worse. She'd really try to control and manipulate the household. Her brother and sister have very different temperaments, much easier going. But, they have needs too. They help me (and Rachel) find other things to focus on, etc... While your psychologist might be right that a sibling would be hard for Katy to handle, it might also help put some balance in your home. The other thing that the siblings do for me is give me some confidence that some personality traits, good and bad, are just innate, not due to parenting styles, etc... "She is smart as a whip" My dh and I have always felt that Rachel is the smartest of our three. I've often felt that it is part of her obstinance! "I am sitting here writing this with tears in my eyes cause I hate to see Katy go threw such torment and anguish, but at the same time I know its a response that we need to change....I never imagined parenting was going to be so hard." Aww, Sam. It always seems to be two steps forward, one step back. I'm sure Katy will get there! I really do think you're lucky to be finding ways to help her (and you) manage all of this when she's so young. It might just set her on a great path for the rest of her life. I really think parenting is the hardest job in the world. Especially when our children don't come with instruction manuals! I remember one Mom saying that it doesn't get easier. When they are babies it is more physical - up in the night, running after them, etc.. etc..., but as they grow up, it's the mental challenge of keeping on top of things and helping them deal with school, social issues, life choices, etc.. etc.... I think the mental stuff is so much more demanding. "Have you tried asking Katy what might help?" That is a great idea!! Have you read How to Talk so Your Children Will Listen, and How to Listen so Your Children Will Talk? The author talks about doing just that. Brainstorming with your child. You start by saying, "I think we have a problem about going to Lori's, let's try to figure out some solutions." You actually bring a notepad and write down everything you discuss. She'll probably say, "don't go to Lori's anymore." Write it down. Then keep prodding for more solutions together. Once you have all the ideas written down, discuss each one. Be honest about what you can do and cannot do, i.e. "I can't stop working, so you need to go to Lori's but maybe you can tell me how to make that better for you." You might find she does have some of her own ideas about things that will make her feel better about it. At the very least, it shows her that her feelings are very important to you, that you're taking her concerns seriously, that you want her to feel she might have some "power" to make it better, etc... So you really can't lose. If you're not sure you want to trust this system to the big issue of day care, why not "practice" on some minor issues and see how they go before you tempt it with day care. "The psychologist apt was interesting!! In a nut shell she thinks that Katy has a problem with emotions...My next step is the kinesiology. don't know much about it, but it should help her with her anger." I read that with great interest. I've always felt that my Rachel has some anger issues! I have been working with her on that a bit, but she really knows how to push my buttons and sometimes I find myself responding with anger - NOT the best role model, yikes! Rather that getting angry, I'm really working hard at giving her lots of loving, even when she's angry. What is the kinesiology? How is it supposed to help? What does your psychologist specialize in? Does she have a specialty with children because I think that might be important. Keep plugging away! It will all come together for you. Martha Mom to Hayley (6) and Rachel and Sam (3) --- You are currently subscribed to canada as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to %%email.unsub%% --- You are currently subscribed to canada as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to %%email.unsub%% ---------- --- You are currently subscribed to canada as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> $9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything. http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/BCfwlB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> <a href=http://English-12948197573.SpamPoison.com>Fight Spam! Click Here!</a> Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kumpulan/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! 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