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<~*~><~*~>< You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Download your favorite screensavers now! Free screensavers - Download now! Choose from your favorite celebrities, movies, places and more! http://mocda.com/1/c/61479/203807/364775/364775 <a href="http://mocda.com/1/c/61479/203807/364775/364775";> AOL users go here </a> Advertiser Opt Out Language: Comet Systems, Inc. 143 Varick Street NY, NY 10013 The above is an advertisement. To unsubscribe from Comet System's mailings, Click to this site - http://CometSystems.adcomunsub.com/1f1cfdf1b0342407c76996019403d76a To unsubscribe from the Mailer's list, please see below. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> <~*~><~*~> In The News <~*~><~*~> The average British woman's handbag is worth about $1,037, according to a survey published recently that examined both the cost of the bag and its contents. These results of the survey of 1,700 women by Prudential Home Insurance were released Friday. The average handbag itself was worth $54, and British women carry cell phones worth an average of $360, the survey found. Sunglasses accounted for around $90, perfume $72, and house and car keys $180. Other items included a hairbrush and a diary. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Toons: Cool Limo http://d21c.com/BarryV/emailpics_Delete_Soon/mailedD16.jpg Your Cat's Boss http://www.glasbergen.com/images/cat5.gif Jokeworm Pics <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/ "> click</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care? Onion consumption in the U.S. has increased approximately 50% over the past 20 years claims the National Onion Association. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Surf the Internet without missing important calls. Get the calls you care about AND block telemarketers With CallWave's Internet Answering MachineT Try it FREE for 30 Days! http://frus-onket.com/1/c/61479/214068/364775/364775 <a href="http://frus-onket.com/1/c/61479/214068/364775/364775";> AOL users go here </a> The above is an advertisement. To unsubscribe from Callwave's mailings, Click to this site - http://Callwave.adcomunsub.com/fc081eaf7cd5a0bf4758c35c15e3a2e6 CallWave, Inc. P.O. Box 549 Santa Barbara, CA 93102 To unsubscribe from the Mailer's list, please see below. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> The Postman's Corner! Where the world goes for its daily dose of humor Adult style jokes and cartoons DELIVERED FREE OF CHARGE via email by: Martin aka the postman to SUBSCRIBE to The Postman's Corner... send blank email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] or go to: http://www.thepostmanscorner.net <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Links: 101 Halloween Ideas http://www.101halloweenideas.com/halloween_ideas_01.html SpookMaster Online Pumpkin Carving Patterns http://www.spookmaster.com/pumpkin-carving-patterns-freebies.htm The $39 cruise <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke82g.html ">aol </a> Being a good husband <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke83g.html ">aol </a> Jokeworm's Random Quote <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/quotes/ "> click here</a> Jokeworm Jokes <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/ "> click</a> Jokeworm Trivia <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/trivia/ "> click</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> The aliens landed in Washington, DC, where they were given a hero's welcome. They were honored at a banquet at the White House and treated to a tour of the capitol. After a day and a night of talking with the politicians and the press, the aliens returned to their home planet. "Bad news," said the returning alien leader to his boss. "We wasted all that time and we still don't know if there is intelligent life on Earth." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think" explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Why is it when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> A plane leaves Los Angeles Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the autopilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese." "No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?" "You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!" "No, no," the copilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese." "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese ... doesn't matter, you're all alike!" There's a few minutes of silence. "No rike Jews!" the copilot suddenly announces. "Why not?" asks the captain. "Jews sink Titanic." "Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg!" "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, no mattah ... all da same." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. We are not responsible for the availability of, and/or the content located on or through, any such third-party sites. All Content � By their Creators. Subscribe address.. [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsub address ... [EMAIL PROTECTED] (`'�.�(`'�.� �.�'�) �.�'�) ��HumorExprezz`� (�.�'�(�.�'� `'�.�)`' �.�) �.�� ( `�.� `�.� ) �.�)� (.�� `*. *. 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