Diana, you haven't failed. You have done the best that you could under
such stressful circumstances. It must be gut wrenching for you to be
away from Lois. 
Congratulations on your appointment, that must be a bright spot in your
life:)

Love, Nick




-----Original Message-----
From: Diana Galletly [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Sent: Thursday, 14 October 2004 7:46 AM
To: may99
Subject: [may99] RE: AUTISM

On Thu, 14 Oct 2004, Nickole wrote:

> Diana, I'm sorry to hear this. It must be so hard for you

I don't know where to start.

I've been avoiding writing anything because I'm scared of being judged
for having failed and because I don't want excess sympathy.

Lois' father and I split up last July, and he has custody.  I didn't
fight
him for it because I was scared he'd get me (judicially) declared an
unfit
parent and mentally ill.  He threw me out when I tried to kill myself
after
several months of his Jekyll/Hyde behaviour.

I get to see Lois 4 hours a week if I'm lucky and he hasn't decided to
go
away that weekend.  Most of that time is spent at church (I converted to
Anglo-Catholic Christianity in January.  Lois' answer to the question
"what do you want to be when you grow up?" is "a priest".  She's very
keen to be confirmed/take communion ASAP. She amazes me!)

The closest thing to good news that I have is that I've finally secured
a proper academic appointment.  I only wish it had happened 18 months
ago, and then the family probably could have stayed together.  It's
quite
common for academic families to resist the stresses and strains in that
fashion; my best friend is a philosophy lecturer who's done exactly
that.

D.

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