Hi Ron, > I think that when we're tempted to be "brutally honest" we are > likely responding to some deep emotion, be it anger, pain, > fear, some kind of disrespect. A component of our motivation > /is/ to hurt.
I had a boss once who was proud of his "brutal honesty." I am certain that hurting others was not a component of his motivation. He saw the hurt as an unfortunate side effect, but one that was willing to accept, and one that was unavoidable if he was to speak honestly. In general, I didn't see his honesty as being especially brutal, so maybe in the end he wasn't the kind of guy we're talking about. I think there's a difference between being brutally honest and saying something that you predict someone might feel bad about. I'm not sure how to express the difference. Maybe part of the difference is being willing to stay in the conversation until we can make something good out of the situation. Dale -- Dale Emery, Consultant Collaborative Leadership for Software People Web: http://www.dhemery.com Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd The moment a person forms a theory, his imagination sees in every object only the traits which favor that theory. --Thomas Jefferson To Post a message, send it to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe, send a blank message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ad-free courtesy of objectmentor.com Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/extremeprogramming/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
