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Self Help Books Weekly Newsletter - Week of November 3-4, 2004
Publishers:  David and Michelle Riklan - http://www.selfgrowth.com

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In this issue:

=> Sponsor of the Week
=> What�s New?  Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � November 3-4, 2004
=> Self-Improvement Book Store
=> What Are People Reading?  AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help
=> Book Excerpt:  Live the Life You Love:  In Ten Easy Step-by-Step
Lessons � By Barbara Sher
=> Book Excerpt:  The Right Relationship Can Happen:  How to Create
Relationship Success � By Nancy Pina
=> Book Review:  Tibetan Buddhist Altars: A Pop-Up Gallery of Traditional
Art and Wisdom � By Tad Wise, Robert Beers, David A. Carter
=> How to subscribe and be removed from this newsletter
=> How to recommend our newsletter to your friends

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** SPONSOR of the WEEK ** 
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* Improve Your Personal Image And Conversation Skills *
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Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � November 3-4, 2004
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

1)      Sylvia Browne's Lessons For Life � By Sylvia Browne
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1401900879/selfimprovemeonlA/

2)      Traveling Hopefully:  How to Lose Your Family Baggage and Jumpstart
Your Life � By Libby Gill
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0312323948/selfimprovemeonlA/

3)      Living Your Strengths:  Discover Your God-Given Talents and Inspire
Your Community � By Albert L. Winseman, Donald O. Clifton, Curt Liesveld
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1595620028/selfimprovemeonlA/

4)      Taming the Tiger Within:  Meditations on Transforming Difficult
Emotions � By Thich Nhat Hanh
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1573222887/selfimprovemeonlA/

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*** AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help ***
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1)      He's Just Not That Into You:  The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding
Guys � By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=068987474X/selfimprovemeon1A/

2)      Finding Your Own North Star:  Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
� By Martha Beck
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0812932188/selfimprovemeonlA/

3)      The 8th Habit:  From Effectiveness to Greatness � By Stephen R. Covey
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0684846659/selfimprovemeonlA/

4)      Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People � By Stephen R. Covey
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0671708635/selfimprovemeonlA/

5)      Who Moved My Cheese?  An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your  Work
and in Your Life � By Spencer Johnson, Kenneth H. Blanchard (Foreword)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0399144463/selfimprovemeonlA/


--------------------------------------------
*** BOOK EXCERPT:  Live the Life You Love:  In Ten Easy Step-by-Step
Lessons � By Barbara Sher ***
-------------------------------------------

What would it take to make you really happy?

Would you have to be a huge financial success? Have the biggest house in
town? Own your own helicopter? That's what advertisers tell us is the key
to happiness.

Well, I think they're totally wrong.

Unless you have some innate, personal love of big houses or helicopters,
don't let yourself buy into someone else's idea of the good life. If you
do, you're in for a big letdown. Because no one but you has any idea what
will make you happy.

What you love is as unique to you as your fingerprints. You need to know
that because nothing will make you really happy but doing what you love.
Just look at people who are actually living their dreams. You can see a
calm focus in their eyes and patience in their actions. They know they're
in the right place, doing the right thing.

I know a man who loves getting up in the morning, going out into his
kennel and checking on his Jack Russell terriers. "I can't wait to get out
there and say hello, see if they're okay, have them say hello to me."

I know a fourth grade art teacher who says, "I love to create an
atmosphere that makes the children open up. You should see what they
paint. I think they're the greatest artists in the world!"

And I know the owner of a cafe who loves to go to work every day. "There's
nothing like having your own place. I like everything about it, grinding
the coffee, talking to customers, even wiping the counter."

Somewhere inside yourself you know what you love, too. You dream of
starting your own business, or traveling the world, or finding the right
mate; you wish you could ride the horses on your own ranch, or lead your
party to victory as a senator; or go diving off the Great Barrier Reef
with a fabulous underwater camera.

Or maybe you don't know exactly what your dreams are, but you can sense
them somewhere deep within you. Even when they're not clearly defined,
they're never far away. As a matter of fact, dreams are almost impossible
to get rid of. They trouble and tempt you. They keep reminding you that
you're not satisfied with your life, that something crucial is missing.

And that's very lucky for you. If your dreams didn't trouble you, you'd
forget them entirely. That's what you were trained to do. Most of us were
told that we'd have to make daunting sacrifices to go after what we love:
we'd have to abandon our lives and live in garrets or on mountaintops and
we'd have to have talent a thousand times greater than anyone else,
because only special people make it. Whenever we dream out loud, we're
criticized for being foolish by people who really have no idea how special
we are. As a result, we crush our dreams without giving them half a
chance. Whenever we begin thinking, "I'd love to travel," or "I'd love to
paint," we quickly rattle off all the reasons why we can't: "I don't have
the money, I don't have the time, I might not be good enough..."

How do I know all this? Because I'm just like you. In the middle of trying
to survive as a single working parent with two jobs, I too watched my
birthdays come and go. When my life would get quiet for a moment, I could
hear the nagging voice of unfinished dreams. What were they? I didn't
really know. But sometimes in the evenings after I'd put the children to
bed, I'd have thoughts I never would have admitted to anyone: maybe I was
special. Maybe I was supposed to be doing something remarkable Maybe one
day I'd be respected for doing what I loved.

Sometimes I'd even take a tentative step. I'd convince myself that I
should be able to make something of myself, no matter what the odds. After
all, we create our own reality, don't we? All I had to do was believe in
myself and I could do anything, right? At least, that's what it said in
every self-improvement book I'd ever read�and I had read them all. Just
think positive, tough it out, never quit. If you can't follow through on a
dream, the problem is all in your head. Change your thinking.

Pardon me, but when I write those words I start getting all steamed up
because believing them made me feel like a complete failure. If those
phrases work for you, more power to you, but they have never worked for
me. I can't tell myself how to think. I can't do just anything I set my
mind to (trust me on that one�I've been trying to learn Latin for years).
As for quitting, I'm famous for it. I still fall off diets with stunning
regularity.

I say this now almost proudly, but back then I was certain that I was
doomed to failure. I'd watch those TV commercials that show people with
perfect bodies happily exercising on machines, and I'd listen to the
promises that I could look perfect too if I'd only buy that machine and
use it. But I didn't fall for the ads because I had tried a dozen times to
exercise and by now I knew persistence wasn't my long suit. I'd lose
motivation, or I'd get lonely; I was often in a lousy mood, I'd look for a
million things to do besides exercise. Maybe someone out there could
follow the instructions they give but not me. I knew myself too well to
even try.

Anyway, maybe what I loved wasn't so important after all. Maybe my dreams
wouldn't really make me happy. Maybe this feeling that I'm special and
that my dreams should matter was foolish, even neurotic. Maybe dreams are
just that�dreams and nothing more.

So I sighed and decided to give up. Obviously, I didn't have the right
stuff in me. If I couldn't even stick with exercise, what was the point in
trying for anything really big? When you don't have what it takes, you
just settle for less.

Oh, was I wrong. It takes my breath away to think about how close I came
to closing the door on all my cherished dreams. But one day a question
lodged itself in my mind and refused to go away.

If I was such a failure, how had I managed to finish school and hold jobs
and raise kids? Those were all hard to do. They required continued
persistence over many years! And I had done them! How? Not with positive
thinking or believing in myself, or improving my attitude one bit, that's
for sure. I must have accomplished those feats some other way.

I felt on the verge of a very big discovery. I was so excited that day I
called all my startled friends and shouted into the phone, "We can all
have what we want and we don't have to change at all, and we don't have to
have the right attitude or anything! Isn't that astounding? We've all been
sold a bill of goods! I'll get back to you on this!"

Obviously I had my own way of accomplishing hard things. Determined to
design a program that would suit me, I sat down and carefully took apart
every belief I ever had about what it takes to achieve a dream. So I
wasn't perfect. So what? I wanted a life I would love anyway, and I wanted
it as soon as possible.

And I was willing to rethink every assumption I'd ever had to get that
life.

What I learned changed my course forever.

The list price for this book is $12.95.  To purchase it for $10.36 at a
20% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0440507561/selfimprovemeonlA/


--------------------------------------------
*** BOOK EXCERPT:  The Right Relationship Can Happen:  How to Create
Relationship Success � By Nancy Pina ***
--------------------------------------------

>From Chapter One:  Self Discovery

Discovering your true self, discarding built-up pretense that is designed
to disguise vulnerability, and accepting who you are will change your
future relationship outcomes. Self-reflection provides vital answers that
will help you to attract the best-suited individual and then allow that
person into your life.

By delving into past experiences in other significant relationships, you
can end the cycle of drawing individuals who do not serve your desired
purpose of creating a successful, committed relationship.

Only by understanding your reasons for drawing particular individuals at
each specific life stage will you obtain insight and clarity. The process
of self-discovery leads down many different paths, depending on our
ability to tune into our inner voice of truth and reason and allow it to
be our guide. This guidance pertains especially to the type of individuals
we permit into our intimate lives and the effects those choices have,
influencing not only our behavior, but also our interactions with those
around us.

Tapping into the wisdom of your soul's truth, understanding you possess
the internal tools necessary to create what you desire - especially the
right relationship - is the start of our journey. In your search for
happiness, making mistakes along the way is the part of the journey as
each experience and every individual you have encountered so far has aided
in your soul's growth, whether the experience was positive or negative.

All reflected back to you lessons you needed to learn in order to evolve
as a person. If experiences seem to repeat in your life, you have not
completely understood the lesson yet. The path to discovering the right
relationship is not a straight line, but one with twists and turns that we
will learn to smooth out by examining the types of individuals you have
attracted into your life.

When thinking of a significant past relationship, can you see instances
where you seemed to now what was about to occur but denied that inner
feeling or intuition? In moments before critical vents, do you seem to
hear your inner voice telling you not to do something? Developing an
understanding, acceptance, and appreciation for your intuition is of
paramount importance in self-discovery.

The best ways to describe intuitive feelings is in physical terms: you may
feel that you have "butterflies in your stomach," "a lump in your throat,"
or "a gut feeling."  Your subconscious mind is alerting you to intuitive
messages through your senses. In your inner thoughts, there are new ideas,
sparks of creativity, and clues to your genuine self. From these
inspirations of the mind come aspirations, such as the desire to live a
genuine life and share it with the right partner.

Your conscious thoughts can often try to undermine these pure ideas by
flooding you with validity questions and playing on your doubts, fears,
and anxieties. But remember, the only true teacher is the one who has
always been with you, your inner voice.

Your intuitive mind is the voice of your true self, but it is often
ignored because of subconscious fears.  The journey of self-awakening
takes great courage. It is a path that requires reaffirmation of your
intention to practice self-discovery every day.

Over the course of my career, I listened to numerous stories from divorced
men and women who experienced a moment of clarity just before they married
their former spouses. Their intuition told them not to marry these
partners, but their conscious minds, their egos, overpowered them with
feelings of guilt and social obligation. On their wedding days they knew
they were marrying the wrong person.

I have heard others say that they knew intuitively when entering into new
relationships that they were repeating an unsuccessful cycle with the same
type of partner as before. They allowed their conscious minds to reaffirm
their emotional choices and ignored their inner knowledge of the
predetermined outcome. Clarity emerged once they decided to take a closer
look at the qualities that consistently attracted them and the unmet needs
they repeatedly tried to fulfill through their intimate relationships.

As Helen Adams Keller (1880-1968) so expressively wrote, "When one door of
happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed
door that we do not see the one which has been opened up for us." In past
relationships, have you looked so long at a closed door that you missed
the new one that opened?

To get additional information on �The Right Relationship Can Happen� or to
purchase a copy from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.yourtruematch.com/amazonspecial.htm


--------------------------------------------------
*** BOOK REVIEW:  Tibetan Buddhist Altars:  A Pop-Up Gallery of
Traditional Art and Wisdom � By Tad Wise, Robert Beers, David A. Carter
***
-------------------------------------------------

Wise, who brought us Tibetan prayer flags in a gift box with "Blessings on
the Wind," offers another treat for grownups who are interested in Tibetan
Buddhist practice. This pop-up book features five colorful Tibetan altars,
such as might be found in a home or monastery. Wise and Beer encourage
readers to use the book as a devotional tool, finding a quiet space and
spreading the book (which opens with two "doors" from the center of the
cover, like a temple) to the appropriate pop-up for meditation. Each
pop-up page includes a mantra to recite as well as a glorious
three-dimensional image of Green Tara, Shakyamuni Buddha, Avalokiteshvara,
Manjushri, or the Medicine Buddha. All five embody different spiritual
qualities and can be called upon in various times of need--Medicine Buddha
in case of sickness, for example, or Green Tara to protect the devotee
from fear. Some readers may also wish to incorporate use of a 108-bead
rosary (not included).
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc.
All rights reserved.

The list price for this book is $21.95.  To purchase it for $15.37 at a
30% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1577314670/selfimprovemeonlA/

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