<~*~><~*~>< Humor-Exprezz
<~*~><~*~>< You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. You can win a FREE GIFT. Don't let your FREE GIFT expire...the time is counting down! CLICK HERE to claim your free gift: <a href=" http://a.websponsors.com/c/s=29539/c=48303/ "> aol</a> <~*~><~*~> In The News <~*~><~*~> Police say a man who tried to drive away from the scene of an accident was caught with the help of a police officer who was nearby at the time. Curtis Kavoie is charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and leaving the scene of property damage after he mowed down a shopping cart corral in a Wal-Mart parking lot with his 2 ton dump truck. A Louisville, Kentucky off duty police officer was in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot across the street from the incident at the time and witnessed the scene. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Anne's Jokes Sent out twice a week FREE Jokes & Cartoons for your pleasure to pass on to your buddies no links to click To see the jokes Just simple reading [EMAIL PROTECTED] <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Toons: Donald Trump's Dog <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/trumpdog.shtml "> aol</a> Jokeworm Pics <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/ "> click</a> Fly By... <a href=" http://www.borg.com/~rjgtoons/images/122.gif "> aol</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care? There are over 650,000 restaurants in the United States. There are over 3,000 ethnic restaurants in New York City. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Unexplained Mysteries Are you interested in the world of Unexplained Mysteries. Are you fascinated with things like unsolved crimes, such as Jack the Ripper, or abominations of nature, such as the Chupacabra, Nessy, or Big Foot? How about Ancient Mysteries? Then, let Nunizo be your guide once a week to these amazing mysterious phenomena. To subscribe send a blank e-mail to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Some material may not be suited for children, hence, this is an ADULT e-zine and it is also FREE. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> The Asylum Gutter Jokes Got your mind in the Gutter? well our editors Misty & Nunizo Want the most gutterly jokes and other garbage? And are you over 18? Not easy to offend? Set your mind on gutter mode and send a blank e-mail to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Yes of course its free!! <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!" So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent says, "Yes, ma'am," grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her into a large inner tube, pulls her out the back door and downhill to the river bank, where he pushes her in and sends her floating down the river. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays down her money, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on his cruise?" The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year." <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Sign up to test new products! Get a chance for prizes and a new state-of-the-art Notebook Computer! <a href= "http://a.websponsors.com/c/s=29539/c=48429/ "> aol</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> *A Women's Conversation About A Haircut* Oh! That's so cute! Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Oh goodness no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Oh, that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. Continued, blah, blah, blah... *A Man's Conversation About a Haircut:* Haircut? Yep. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Caller, "Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Dang ... I think I'm going to pass out." Dispatcher, "Sir, where are you calling from?" Caller, "I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dang ..." Dispatcher, "Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?" Caller, "No." Dispatcher, "What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?" Caller, "Running from the police. So don't send them!" <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care? In 1956, 80% of all U.S. households had a refrigerator, but only 8% of British households had one. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Absolutely free sample of the world famous Shaklee BASICS. Achieve vibrant health extra energy, mood elevation, STRESS RELIEF, restore your outlook on a wonderful life. Complete a 60 second health survey.ABSOLUTELY NO CREDIT CARD IS REQUIRED to get your free sample. <a href=" http://a.websponsors.com/c/s=29539/c=47946/ "> aol</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Ten Earning Dead Celebrities according to Forbes Magazine; 1.. Elvis Presley 2.. Charles M. Schulz 3.. J.R.R. Tolkien 4.. John Lennon 5.. Theodor "Dr. Seuss" Geisel 6.. Marilyn Monroe 7.. George Harrison 8.. Irving Berlin 9.. Bob Marley 10.. Richard Rodgers <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. 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