I apologize if this is a repeat. Jen and Kris wrote that they didn't get the updates. I will post them here. Just delete please, if you already read all this stuff. So much to rewrite If I did not cut and paste. Paula
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Xiao Yu is a courageous young woman. She is going through all these life changes with grace. English is still minimal but we expect by six months post-adoption that she will be able to communicate in a basic manner, enough to start communicating her needs. She goes with Sarah and Zoey wherever they go... down the street to play at the neighbor's house, bike-riding, Awana. I am in awe at the way she courageously tries new things and is how she is willing to meet new people. She's a little shy at first, and it must be hard to not be able to respond to any of the introductory type questions people inquire about when they meet here. My co-workers all want me to bring her to the clinic to meet everyone, but with introductions come many questions, of which she cannot answer; so I told folks I would wait until she had some basic English skills and then bring her to work. Xiao Yu goes to school a couple of hours each day. We are slowly transistioning. She attends North Pines Middle School (7th grade). While this is not the neighborhood junior high, it is the school where Central Valley has their ESL/ELL program.
We had our annual family portrait done last Sunday. She probably was wondering why we were all dressing alike in purple clothes, but understood when the photographer arrived. Getting that photo back and immediately hung on our wall, replacing last year's family portrait, will be symbolic of her becoming a permanent member of our family.
I am taking some days off from clinic and working some 1/2 days, but not maternity leave. I didn't feel I needed to be away from work all day since she has school to attend. The Spokane Chinese Association members have been an incredible support network for us and Xiao Yu. I put her on the phone with someone everyday, and she talks to them in Chinese, and they either explain cultural differences of things she is curious about (like... why do they ruin their noodles with red sauce? AKA spaghetti), and they alllow her to talk about how things are going and then provide us with feedback. Everything has been positive so far. School and food are the two biggest areas where she has concerns. We do not expect her to eat anything we eat. I have a variety of Chinese food choices available to her. Generally she eats a little of the Chinese food and a little of what we are eating. She really is not all that picky. This Saturday Heather Meng (the Chinese language school teacher from Walt, Sarah and Zoey's class) will take the girls and Walt to an Asian grocery store and they will shop for food and then come home and Heather will teach them to cook some basic Chinese dishes. Heather insisted I have a rice cooker and a six pound bag of Costco rice, which (proudly) I stated, I already had available. Xiao Yu has a good appetite, and while she looks thin, she is muscular.
Every person in this house is learning something new about himself/herself. Yes, even a thirteen year old will capture your heart. Walt and I have no difficulty connecting with Xiao Yu emotionally. Eric and Jill relate to her as if (a) she can speak English, and (b) as if she's been here their whole life. Zoey and Xiao Yu share a bedroom and Zoey extends amazing kindness and patience with her. Laughter is an international language of expression and communication, and so we laught and hug liberally these days. Xiao Yu bonded with daddy in China, but still had plenty of room in her heart for me, and was openly accepted me as momma... starting on day two. She is a remarkable young woman. I think I would have so much stress and heartbreak if I were in her situation, but she is gracefully moving through her days in this new world, with a family she had no choice in selecting. I look forward to the day that she has the verbal skills to share what she was feeling upon her new arrival to Washington State.
Our family/house is kind of running on survival mode right now. This means... the house is more untidy than usual!
Paula Bowes
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