[Default] On Fri, 20 Oct 2006 11:00:15 +0100, "Neil Arlidge" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> finished tucking into their plate of fish, chips and mushy peas. Wiping their mouth, they swiggged the last of their cup of tea, paid the bill and wrote::
>Sue Burchett wrote: > >> Lee sanitation do very good self pump out kits, both manual & >> electric, 12 & 24v. Ours has paid for its self many times over. >> >> Sue nb Nackered Navvy > >If you think they are good you should see our explosive 230v AC Lee San one! >:-) >Shame I never took any pictures of the fall out! > I can't remember who posted this originally, but I thought it worth re-posting here................... I thought you guys might be interested in my latest e-mail to my friends which I thought might appeal to some of you. Please keep in mind that my friends aren't 'boaties' so I keep it a bit simple for them, read on.... Well not actually me but Mr Helpful. I now have to moderate my language as one of my nieces (in law) has joined my news group. I will however try to maintain some humour. I have often been told that my humour is a bit on the 'toilet' side so I thought "why not talk toilets" it's a bit like "let's talk dirty". Toilets are not the normal thing one would bring up in general conversation unless you live on a narrow boat. This normally revolves around questions like "where's the nearest sanitary station (nothing to do with ladies depositories I am afraid)" or "where is the nearest pumpout"? There are two types of toilets on narrow boats, a cassette type the same as is often found on modern touring caravans (often referred to as a Porta Poti) or a pumpout toilet which is what we have. The most common type of the latter is known as a 'drop through' toilet, use your imagination. It's actually very clean to use and not a bit smelly. Now about every 10 days we have to take the boat to a pumpout station to have the tank emptied. This involves a big tube being attached to the boat and then the toilet waste is sucked out, not a pleasant task. This on average costs about £10, that's about £500 a year to use the toilet! Now we get onto the my title for today. To save money one can buy a DIY pumpout kit. AHA now we get down to it. Well what you do is find a sanitary station, the use of which is free, connect a thick pipe to the boat and to a big hand pump, another soft, flat pipe, rather like a fireman's' hose, is connected to the other end of the pump which is then rolled out and is shoved down the bowl in the sanitary station. These sanitary stations are really a normal toilet bowl like you have at home and instead of a chain to pull you flush it with a hose pipe provided after emptying the contents of your cassette down there. They are either in a small room or have a small brick wall round them. So, having bought the kit and put it altogether off we go to a sanitary station for our first, free, DIY pumpout. We moor up and I connect it all up, roll out the flat pipe and stick it down the bowl, return to the boat and start to pump, after a very short time you should feel the pump 'bite' as the waste starts to go through I am told. Now it should be kept in mind that a chemical is involved here, rather like what is used in Porta Poti's it breaks down 'solid' matter and toilet paper so what you end up with is, yes you have probably guessed it, liquid sh*t (that's pooh to you, Jessica). Now these sanitary stations are normally near locks or a special mooring, in this case it is at Braunston. Because Braunston is the canal capital of the world everyone visits it mostly to walk along, ask silly questions like "is that a narrow boat" or to 'bog' through your windows to see what your boat is like. Now in this game you always get the "You don't want to do it like that, you want to do it like this" type of Mr Helpful. So this guy comes along, Mr Helpful, sees what I am doing as I am pumping away like mad waiting for it to 'bite' he follows the blue pipe along to the sanitary station and starts looking down the bowl where my pipe is going with the 'aim' of telling me when the muck has reached the bowl. Now what I didn't realise is the force at which this pump works, apparently it can push water up about 10 metres through it's 50mm pipe so we are talking a fair pressure here. The pump 'bites', I pump like mad and then there is a scream and Mr Helpful comes running back to me with the end if the pipe in his hand, liquid sh*t spurting 2 metres in the air all over him and anything else it's pointed at shouting "STOP PUMPING you idiot!". Apparently what had happened is the force of the muck coming out the pipe was so much that it propelled the pipe straight out the bowl, he tried to push it back down but the pipe being very soft and flexible was totally uncontrollable. The result is rather like trying to hold a very slippery snake that's intent on biting you. Well you can imagine the state of poor Mr Helpful, there he stands covered from head to foot in horrible, smell gooey, brown pooh, there was only one thing to do so I promptly got hold of the water hose and turned it on him to rinse him down and then suggest he A) sees a doctor and B) minds his own business in future. As for me, well I have now made a wire frame up rather like you have on the waste pipe of a washing machine so I can hook the pipe over the bowl and hold it in place. Brian L Dominic Web Sites: Canals: http://www.brianscanalpages.co.uk Friends of the Cromford Canal: http://www.cromfordcanal.org.uk (Waterways World Site of the Month, November 2005) Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/canals-list/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/canals-list/join (Yahoo! 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