THE CATBROOK AND CAT'S ASH CANAL
This canal, despite its short period of operation, and the fact that no trace of it can now be detected on the ground, deserves to be better known, as it was to the Internet what Babbage's engines were to the digital computer. The concept of the promoters was to construct a system for automatically and expeditiously conveying small packets over the distance between Cat, on the Wye Valley, and Cat's Ash on the Usk Valley. The promoters realised that, on the hilly ground of the area, it was essential to build a narrow-gauge canal (the gauge decided on was 15 inches with a boat beam of 7 inches), but in order to provide the automatic features, they built parallel channels for up and down traffic, with traffic acceleration stations at frequent intervals. Differences in level were overcome by 24- or 48-vole treadmill powered boat-lifts. The traffic acceleration stations consisted of small but commodious buildings, resembling the gauging stations on the BCN, but with windows so arranged that the only view outwards was of boats which had already passed the station. The stations were also provided with a clockwork mechanism, designed to operate for a week continuously, which allowed the station door to open only during the hours of darkness and operated a dispenser providing a nourishing breakfast at dawn. Each station was staffed by one of the canal's feline operatives. The promoters had noted that the South Wales coal traffic provided a super-abundance of ship rats, and these provided the motive power for the boats, to which they were harnessed by wire traces. The traffic controllers dispatched the boats as soon as a packet arrived. On passing a traffic acceleration station, the rats realised that the feline operative, which they had been unable to see as they approached the station, was making violently threatening gestures at them if their pace was inadequate, and when the system was working well the celerity of operation was remarkable. However the system was subject to frequent interruptions to traffic, due to the feline operatives leaving their stations during the hours of darkness when the station doors were operable, and being delayed by their gustatory or amatory experiences. In the absence of the feline operatives, the acceleration stations did not operate as planned and boat traffic was halted for long periods, leading to the bankruptcy of the canal. Some years later, a virtual replica of the canal was built, with the boats drawn by Houyhnhnms and the acceleration stations staffed by Yahoos, but this was found to suffer from similar delays to traffic, due to the unpredictable nature of the Yahoos.
