You know your a drunkard sailor if:
- You've ever accidently jibed to grab a beer that was about to spill.
- You can't really tell if the seas are choppy unless you look.
- You can never find a winch handle when you need it, but there's always a 'coolie' in easy reach.
- You tie up to a convenient mooring ball late at night, go to bed, and discover that you've dragged six lobster traps four and a half miles when you wake up the next morning.
- And it's actually 2pm.
- The booze you usually keep on board is worth more than your sails are.
- You have DNF'd dozens of races, but have never DNF'd a drink at the bar afterwards.
- You keep safety equipment and critical spare parts in a damp cardboard box at the bottom of the laz, but have a custom-made teak and holly liquor cabinet in the cabin.
- You leave the safety equipment and critical spares at home because you decided you need that space in the laz for booze also so you can reach it from the helm.
- You improvised a temporary engine cooling fix out of the parts of a beer bong.
- Or you were stranded and had the boat towed because you refused to use the beer bong parts.
- Your boat is named 'Last Call', 'Liquid Refreshment', or 'Bottoms Up'.
- You fell overboard but survived because you were drinking directly from a near-empty keg at the time, and it went over with you.
- After that episode, you reflect thankfully that you never finished that project to build the keg into the laz.
- And you never finished that project because, well, the first step was to get a keg...
- You don't know rules of the road, VHF etiquette, signs of incoming bad weather, dead reckoning, or how to tie a functional knot, but you know 120 drinking shanties. (This could also simply make you a powerboater).
- You disembark and everyone ashore thinks you've been at sea for three weeks because of the way you're walking, but you've only been on the water for an hour.
- You've EVER done the Leo DiCaprio / Kate Winslet 'Titanic thing' from your bow pulpit.
- Especially if you did it in your slip or at a mooring.
Chris
- could do this all day
At 08:39 PM 5/8/2006, you wrote:
Don't know why (um, wellÂ… maybe I do) but after stumbling on this site I thought some of you guys might get a kick out of it.
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/md_youre_a_drunk.htm
Larry Robertie
Just might subscribe
Boston, MA
