CHRIST IN THE HOME
http://www.ewtn.com/library/FAMILY/CHRISTH1.TXT
BY RAOUL PLUS, S.J.
a Translation from the French
FREDERICK PUSTET CO., INC. Publishers NEW YORK AND
CINCINNATI
Nihil Obstat:
JOHN M. A. FEARNS, S.T.D., Censor Librorum
Imprimatur:
+FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN,
Archbishop of New York
New York, June 19, 1951
MARRIAGE
BEFORE EMBARKING (1)
WHOEVER desires to marry ought to prepare himself for that great step:
--First of all, by preserving chastity. --Then, by praying much for
his future home and family.
By preserving chastity: Whoever cannot see the need for this will not
be likely to understand the need for anything. But one must be able
to see the need for more than this, to desire more.
The practice of purity in its entirety involves not only the
avoidance of serious wrongdoing harmful to the integrity of the body
but also whatever sullies imagination, thought or desire.
Consequently questionable companions, flirtations, and imprudent
reading are out of the question. Custody of the eyes is essential.
Death enters in through the windows of the body. Eve and David both
sinned through their eyes.
For certain temperaments, such vigilance demands great generosity. No
one can deny it.
"The good is more difficult than the evil," wrote Paul Claudel in
response to Jacques Riviere who had explained that to remain pure was
difficult. "But there is a return. The good opens up before us
incomparable horizons because it alone is in keeping with our
reality, our nature, our life and our vocation. This is particularly
true where love is concerned. How ridiculous the romantic fever of a
purely fleshly love seems to me!"
Sensing the old classic objection in his correspondent, Claudel took
the offensive:
"As for the emotional cramping Christianity imposes upon you, I can
scarcely understand what you mean. When you speak of sins, I suppose
you refer to sins of the flesh, because I cannot imagine that you
have any tendency to drunkenness, avarice, acts of violence or similar things.
"The first answer to your difficulty is that when we become
Christians, it is not for our pleasure or personal comfort, and
further, if God does us the honor of asking sacrifice of us, there is
nothing to do but consent with joy.
"The second answer is that these sacrifices amount to very little or
practically nothing. We are still living in the old romantic idea
that the supreme happiness, the greatest interest, the only delight
of existence consists in our relations with women and in the sensual
satisfactions we get from them. But we forget one fact, the fact that
the soul, the spirit, are realities just as strong, just as demanding
as the flesh--even more so; we forget that if we accord to the flesh
everything it demands, we shall do so with the consequent loss of
other joys, other regions of delight which will be eternally closed
for us. We shall be draining a glass of bad wine in a hovel or in a
drawing room and be unmindful of that virginal sea which stretches
out before others under the rising sun."
How splendidly Shakespeare has expressed the same thoughts:
What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sees eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the wine destroy?
Or, what fond beggar, but to touch the crown,
Would with the sceptre straight be strucken down?
(Rape of Lucrece, Stanza 31)
This is also what Saint Augustine has written in his own epigrammatic
style: momentaneum quod delectat, aeternum quod cruciat. One instant
of pleasure, an eternity of suffering....
Let me examine my own soul. Have I come to marriage entirely chaste?
Chaste in body? Chaste in thought? Chaste in heart?
If my answer is Yes, then I must thank God. It is a choice grace.
If my answer is No, then what can I do to make reparation, to obtain
from God the grace of entire fidelity to my duty, from now on?
BEFORE EMBARKING (2)
IN addition to the preservation of chastity, the person aspiring to
marriage has a second great duty--to pray much.
An old proverb wisely states, "Before embarking on the sea, pray
once. Before leaving for war, pray twice. Before marrying, pray three times."
And this necessity of praying more before marriage than before a
voyage or a battle is evident for several reasons. Consider the risk
of associating oneself closely with a creature who has many
limitations; with a creature about whom one knows very little
particularly in the matter of shortcomings, since during the period
of courtship and betrothal one unconsciously does everything not to
reveal himself; with a creature whom one loves with all one's heart
but who possesses not only lovable traits, but also faults which can
cause suffering; with a creature who can bestow the greatest joy, but
who can also unfortunately inflict the deepest pain.
Furthermore, in order to bear joys as well as possible trials, do we
not need much help from God? And to obtain this help, must we not pray much?
Another reason for the necessity of such prayer when one desires to
establish a home is that from a union once sanctioned by the Church
and consummated there is no possible withdrawal. It is a choice which
is definitely established. For two changeable human beings to dare to
bind themselves to each other forever in a relationship so intimate
as the realities of marriage, is not God's sustaining help a prime
requisite? And to obtain this help is it not necessary to pray much?
Has my life before marriage been one of sanctification and of prayer
in preparation for my marriage? Or have I confided solely in the
human merits existing on both sides and neglected to place under
God's protection the union I was about to contract?
If I have been neglectful, I must make up for it now. There is still time.
If, on the contrary, I prayed much before my marriage, I may not
leave off earnest prayer now that I am married. The greater the place
God holds in my life, the greater can be my assurance that my home
shall be supernaturally happy and, without a doubt, humanly happy as well.
"To you, O Mary, my good Mother, I confide my marriage and my home.
It seems that marriage is the means of sanctification destined for me
by God as it is for the chosen soul whom you have given me.
"Together we shall do our best to glorify God--this is our firm
resolution. Bless us, help us, strengthen us. Sailors call you Stella
Maris. Be for us, too, the Star of the Sea and keep us safe
throughout our crossing; we put under your care our vessel and its
crew. You shall be the Queen on board ship."
REQUISITES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
FOR a happy marriage, it is necessary, of course, that the engaged
couple find each other congenial and enjoy each other's company.
They must agree to share loyally the joys and the sorrows of wedded
union and fulfill its obligations.
Each one must be bent on procuring for the other as much happiness as
possible and oblige himself beforehand to a mode of life which will
disturb his partner as little as possible.
The husband must love his profession, and his wife should share this
love or at least neglect nothing in order to respect and facilitate it.
They should be able to make their decisions together, not certainly
without sometimes having recourse to the counsels of competent
authorities, but with a beautiful and joyful independence of any
member of the family who may be too prone at times to attempt to
domineer over the young couple. There should, of course, be no
presumption, no narrow aloofness, but a serene and supple liberty of
spirit; serene and supple humility.
In order to be able to practice the sanctity of their state in all
the details of their life, they must understand their duty of leaning
upon God. It will not be sufficient to link together their two wills;
they must be determined to pray to obtain help from on High.
They must likewise have a certain concern, a legitimate concern, for
physical charm, without, however, losing sight of the fact that
beauty of soul is superior to beauty of body; so that if some day the
physical attraction should diminish, they will not be less eager to
remain together, but each will strive to find in the other the
quality upon which profound union is established.
Both of them must love children. They must develop in themselves to
the best of their ability the virtues necessary for parenthood, the
courage to accept as many children as God wants them to have and the
wisdom to rear them well-- difficult virtues requiring strong souls.
Each must be possessed of a rich power of cordiality for the members
of the other's family. Both must resolve to take their in-laws and
their household as they find them, and adopt as a principle for their
contacts with them, It was not to share hates but to share love that
I entered into your family. Consequently, they must refuse to be
drawn into family quarrels, seeking rather in all their actions to
promote charity, union, and peace.
Even before their marriage, the young couple should decide to keep
their expenses at a minimum, according to their situation, not with
avarice or niggardliness, but with the desire to live in the gospel
spirit of detachment from the goods of earth. Such judicious economy,
which should of course be devoid of even the appearance of
stinginess, will enable them to set aside something useful and
necessary for their children. It will also enable them to relieve the
misery around them.
It is to be assumed that both individuals contemplating marriage have
the requisite health, since marriage has been created not only for
mutual support but also to transmit life.
It is further to be assumed that each of the two has kept nothing of
his past life hidden from the other, and that in view of this entire
loyalty which is so desirable a trait in married couples, each has
kept himself pure and refrained from dangerous experiences.
<*}}}>< <http://halfthekingdom.mofuse.mobi/>Half the Kingdom!
on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom!
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><
Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
<*}}}>< <http://halfthekingdom.mofuse.mobi/>Half the Kingdom!
on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom!
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><
Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
--~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
Please note that I do not send or open attachments sent to this list.
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Catholics on Fire" group.
To post to this group, send email to [email protected]
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
For more options, visit this group at
http://groups.google.com/group/Catholics-on-Fire
May the blessing of Jesus and our Blessed Mother be with you
-~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
