CHRIST IN THE HOME
http://www.ewtn.com/library/FAMILY/CHRISTH1.TXT
BY RAOUL PLUS, S.J.
a Translation from the French
FREDERICK PUSTET CO., INC. Publishers NEW YORK AND
CINCINNATI
Nihil Obstat:
JOHN M. A. FEARNS, S.T.D., Censor Librorum
Imprimatur:
+FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN,
Archbishop of New York
New York, June 19, 1951
MARRIAGE
A PROPOSAL
LOUIS PASTEUR came from a family of modest means. When he was
twenty-six years old, his astonishing discovery in regard to crystals
drew upon him the attention of scientists.
In 1849, he was named assistant professor in the University of
Strasbourg. The rector of the university, Mr. Laurent, had three
daughters. Fifteen days after Pasteur's first visit, he asked for
Marie in marriage. The young scientist felt that this young woman
understood life as he did and wanted the same kind of life he
sought--a life of simplicity, of work, and of goodness. He sent this
letter to Mr. Laurent:
"Sir, a request of great significance for me and for your family will
be addressed to you in a few days and I believe it my duty to give
you the following information which can help to determine your
acceptance or your refusal.
"My father is a tanner at Arbois, a little city in the Jura region.
My sisters keep house for my father since we had the sorrow of losing
our mother last May. My family is in comfortable circumstances, but
not wealthy. I do not evaluate what we own at more than ten thousand
dollars. As for me, I decided long ago to leave my whole share to my
sisters. I, then, have no fortune. All I possess is good health, a
kind heart, and my position in the university.
"Two years ago I was graduated from l'Ecole Normale with the degree
of agrege in the physical sciences. Eighteen months ago I received my
doctorate, and I have presented some of my works to the Academy of
Science where they were very well received, especially my last one. I
have the pleasure of forwarding to you with this letter a very
favorable report about this particular work of mine.
"That describes my present status. As for the future, all I can say
is that unless I should undergo a complete change in my tastes, I
shall devote myself to chemical research. It is my ambition to return
to Paris when I have acquired a reputation through my work. Monsieur
Biot has spoken to me several times to persuade me seriously to
consider the Institute. In ten or fifteen years I shall perhaps be
able to consider it seriously if I work assiduously. This dream is
but wasted trouble; it is not that at all which makes me love science
as science."
Could a more modest, more completely sincere letter ever be sent by a
young man in love?
And when he addressed himself to Marie he assured her with touching
clumsiness that he was sure he could hardly be attractive for a young
girl, but just let her have a little patience and she would learn his
great love for her and he believed she would love him too, for "my
memories tell me that when I have been very well known by persons,
they have loved me."
But great as was his love for Marie, his heart was divided: Louis
Pasteur loved science, he loved his crystals. He began to scruple
about it, and finally wrote to his fiancee, asking her "not to be
jealous if science took precedence over her in his life."
She was not jealous. Madame Pasteur married not only the man but also
his passion for science. Her love had that rare quality of knowing
how to efface itself, and to manifest itself precisely by not
manifesting itself at all at times. She was a worthy companion of
this great man, of this great scientist, of this great heart.
THE END OF LOVE?
A CERTAIN essayist makes this appalling statement: "What a sad age
this is in which one makes his First Holy Communion to be through
with religion, receives his bachelor's degree to be through with
studying, and marries to be through with love."
Let us omit the first two statements from this consideration and take
up the third.
Is it true that for some, marriage is the end of love?
That statement can be taken in different ways.
Some think that before marriage one can play at love. Then when the
senses have been dulled, one shall try to find a companion for
himself. "Youth must pass," people say condescendingly on observing
the looseness of young men. There are even certain pseudo-moralists
who advise young girls not to marry before "deliberately having their
fling as well as the boys"--advice which unfortunately some of them
do not fail to follow.
This is an odious concept of love and marriage or of preparation for
it. I certainly want none of it.
Again there are those who think that love is all well and good before
marriage. As for marriage itself, it is first and foremost an
investment. The problem is not so much to marry someone for whom one
experiences a strong attraction, but rather to realize a good
business deal. It is not the person one seeks, but the name, the
status, the fortune. There is nothing of love in this. No, indeed, it
is all a matter of interest: a concept equally as odious as the
first, equally repellent.
What the author of the statement probably meant is that before
marriage, the young man and woman are all fire and flame, and perhaps
for a short time after marriage. Soon, or at least comparatively soon
after marriage, they no longer speak of love. They have become two
under the yoke--two bearing the necessary restraints of their united
existences. Gone is the enchantment of betrothal days or of the early
days of married life. There is nothing left but the grayish prose of
humdrum existence with an individual of whom one has made a god or a
goddess--a person who is after all only a poor creature.
--A man, "a poor man who eats, drinks, wears shirts and drawers, and
who loses his buttons," as someone jokingly described him. "A man who
will never be able to find anything in a dresser or clothes closet;
who will never appreciate the cooking or the menu; who at night
throws his clothes in a heap on a chair and the next morning
complains that the creases in his trousers are not pressed in well
enough; a man who formerly seemed like a knight, a magician, a prince
charming, and whose bold gestures so commanding yet so delicate
thrilled the heart and stirred one's whole being, causing one's
imagination to crown him with the aureola of perfection," and who now . . .
--A woman, a poor creature indeed, perpetually thirsting for caresses
even at the most inappropriate times; a woman who has foolish
notions, headaches, fits of humor; who manifests a flare for spending
which can never resist the appeal of any show window, particularly if
there is an interesting clearance sale on; a woman who wants a
wardrobe capable of ruining the most industrious man, the wealthiest
husband--a poor sort of woman, indeed!
Is it not because of all these things, at least partially because of
them, that Our Lord wanted to make marriage a rite giving divine
graces--a sacrament?
Perhaps we have exaggerated the poetry of conjugal life; let us not
now exaggerate the prose of life together.
As a preparation for this prose, which is always possible and often
very real even in the most successful marriages, I shall aim to
sanctify myself in the practice of charity and patience.
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Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
<*}}}>< <http://halfthekingdom.mofuse.mobi/>Half the Kingdom!
on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom!
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><
Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
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