CHRIST IN THE HOME
http://www.ewtn.com/library/FAMILY/CHRISTH1.TXT
BY RAOUL PLUS, S.J.
a Translation from the French
FREDERICK PUSTET CO., INC. Publishers NEW YORK AND
CINCINNATI
Nihil Obstat:
JOHN M. A. FEARNS, S.T.D., Censor Librorum
Imprimatur:
+FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN,
Archbishop of New York
New York, June 19, 1951
MARRIAGE
MOTHERHOOD
THE writer who said, "Man conquers and woman gives herself," was
correct. Such indeed is the difference between man and woman in their
attitude to life. His is an active heroism; hers a passive heroism.
For the grown man, life is but a series of conquests; he goes from
one victory to the other, carried along by the zest of it until he
fails. Woman makes a gift of herself to life; she spends herself to
the point of exhaustion for her husband, for her children, for those
who suffer, for the unfortunate. But this gift of hers in its fullest
significance is childbirth, a supreme act of passive heroism. Giving
birth to a child is not a purely physical achievement. A mind, a soul
come to life and uniting with the foetus form, without the mother's
awareness, a man--a miracle indeed.
What is the most wonderful is the blossoming and growth of maternal
love in the woman from the very moment of her child's conception,
through its birth, and throughout its whole life, but particularly
during its baby days.
In a certain sense, every woman from her earliest years has the
makings of a mother in her. As a little girl she plays with her doll,
and the game holds her interest only because her imagination
transforms the rag doll or china doll she clasps in her already
expert arms into a living child. So true is this, that even virginal
souls who consecrate themselves to the service of the neighbor may be
called mother; that they really are for their poor, their orphans,
their sick . . .
But it is quite evident that at the time of actual maternity, of
physical maternity, a special creation is effected in the woman. At
the same time that milk mounts to her breast, maternal love takes
possession of her soul, a love of a very special quality which does
not precede but which follows childbirth. Before the child appears,
there can be expectation, yearning, vague tenderness like the dawn
preceding day; it is not yet maternal love in the strongest and
strictest sense of the word.
The child is born. The woman, even though she had been extremely
lazy, manifests an astonishing energy for all that concerns her baby.
Though she had been previously most shiftless now she becomes
ingenious, attentive, watchful and almost anxious. No one need tell
her that her tiny babe can do nothing for itself and that it is
exposed to danger of death at almost every instant. She anticipates
its needs, its desires and a frown appears at the least cloud that
passes over the cradle. No trouble daunts her. As a young girl and
young woman she grumbled over sacrifice and became irritable; now she
is eager in sacrifice--hours of watching, getting up at night; if not
able to nurse the child, she makes minute preparation of formulas,
and even later, pays careful attention to the kinds of food the baby
may have. It all seems to come to her naturally; it seems to be
second-nature. But even if she has acquired her knowledge through
training and study in special courses which she may have taken with
no particular relish, now she carries it out with special zest and
warmth of feeling.
If her baby is well formed, beautiful, healthy and lively, she
rejoices. But if, unfortunately, it is deformed, weak, listless, her
love increases. It is as if she wishes to shower him with love to
make up to the little one for all he lacks as if by clasping it more
tenderly to herself she can supplement its life.
Should her child later become a prodigal, she will have for him an
astonishing partiality; if she believes him to be a hero, it is her
prejudice in his favor! Marvelous contradiction in which maternal
love reveals itself!
How eagerly she desires the father's love for the child. Then again
she is afraid that the father will not be sufficiently firm and will
give in to him too easily. Now the warmest caresses, now the height
of disinterestedness born of maternal love!
IS BIRTH CONTROL PERMISSIBLE?
To LIMIT procreation by the practice of contraceptive devices without
foregoing sexual union is forbidden. No one has the right to suppress
life. To do away with a living adult is homicide; to do away with the
living child in the course of its development within the womb of its
mother is the crime of abortion; to destroy the seed of life, in the
very generative act itself so as to prevent possible conception is
Onanism, so called after Onan in the Old Testament who indulged in
this practice.
No one has the right to place any act which by its nature is
productive of life, and on his own authority, frustrate the effects
of that act which is the generation of a life. Nature must be allowed
to take its course. However, if for some reason decreed by
Providence, conception does not take place, that is God's act. The
individual has not on his own decision killed or sought to kill human life.
It has already been said that to limit procreation by abstaining from
intercourse is within the right of the husband and wife.
There is however another method of birth control which has been much
discussed and about which it is essential to have clear ideas. May
the married couple profit by the wife's cycles of infertility, as
suggested by the Rhythm theory, limiting their sexual union to such
periods as seem less likely to result in conception? The answer to
that question ought to be qualified.
To adopt this practice temporarily in order to space births somewhat
without having to deprive themselves of each other is certainly
different from making the practice habitual in order definitely to
avoid having any children or to avoid it at least for a long time.
Certainly graver reasons are needed to justify the second instance
than to justify the first. Are the reasons for it purely selfish?
Then the married partners are at fault. They do not by their conduct
violate the law of chastity in marriage, that is true, but they do
violate the law of charity, or to put it more graphically, the law of
fruitfulness.
The plan of God for married persons in this matter of fecundity is
not that they have the largest number of children possible. Rather it
is that they should have the largest number that they are capable of
rearing well considering the position in which Providence has placed
them or in other words taking into account the health, the economic
status of the family, and other such considerations. It is a problem
of honesty.
It is up to each individual to face himself squarely on this problem,
if it is his, and examine himself sincerely on the complete honesty
of his manner of acting. Then such a one will be ready to meditate
often upon the reasons that argue for peopling the cradles.
WHY HAVE A LARGE FAMILY
WE HAVE seen that the practice of Rhythm, above all if it is only
temporary, is legitimate and reasonable. But, even in that case,
particularly when it concerns those just starting out on their
marital life, it is advisable to call attention to some vital
considerations to be taken into account:
--The harm it can do by separating the idea of sexual pleasure from
the idea of fatherhood and motherhood.
--The harm it can do by overemphasizing the carnal side of life
together at the expense of the tender and spiritual aspect.
--The harm it can do by causing inordinate abandonment to the senses
during the infertile periods.
Rather than seeking out the means--even legitimate means--of limiting
the offspring, what is really important for the married couple is to
discover the reasons for having many children.
There are reasons of charity:
1. Toward children who depend upon the parents to be called or not
called to life--to eternity.
2. Toward Christian society to which they should seek to give as many
baptized souls as possible and, if God permits, priests and religious
for a world that needs them so much.
3. Toward their country for whom they may rear citizens who will
bring her life and prosperity.
How beautiful are such reasons!
Consider these young chosen ones in perspective. It depends on me--on
us--with just a little generosity on our part, to dare to bring them
forth from nothingness, to call them into being, to life.
That will mean greater glory for God; it will mean for them an
eternity of happiness. It is up to me--to us--to open for them the
book of life, the Book of Life; for a life in its fuller sense is not
merely a period of time, it is part of a life which will never end.
In bringing forth children, parents are fashioning citizens of eternity.
It is not enough to consider the Church triumphant and how to help
the greatest possible number to enter into it; we can and we ought to
consider the Church militant. Are the number of baptized souls bent
on living their baptism sufficient in number? Where can they better
increase, develop and aid in the Christian renewal, that is, the
baptismal renewal of the world than in Christian families? Are there
enough priests? . . . War has mowed down a great number of them. Even
before the war there were not enough for the work to be done. Now,
the need is tragic. Bishops can only ordain . . . The priesthood
depends mainly on marital holiness. If parents do their duty, if they
are generous, there will be priests; otherwise, the Church will weaken.
As for our country, its beauty is proportionate to its men, to its
men of valor. The recent wars showed the tragedy of a lack of
manpower. These are of course temporal reasons, but spiritual
interests are closely linked with them.
Reflect on all this . . . Let life live!
<*}}}>< <http://halfthekingdom.mofuse.mobi/>Half the Kingdom!
on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom!
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><
Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
<*}}}>< <http://halfthekingdom.mofuse.mobi/>Half the Kingdom!
on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom!
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><
Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
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