CHRIST IN THE HOME
http://www.ewtn.com/library/FAMILY/CHRISTH1.TXT
BY RAOUL PLUS, S.J.
a Translation from the French
FREDERICK PUSTET CO., INC. Publishers NEW YORK AND
CINCINNATI
Nihil Obstat:
JOHN M. A. FEARNS, S.T.D., Censor Librorum
Imprimatur:
+FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN,
Archbishop of New York
New York, June 19, 1951
MARRIAGE
UNITED STRIVING FOR SANCTITY
A BEAUTIFUL work which husband and wife can pursue together is the
mutual effort to correct their faults. Maurice Retour, an
industrialist and one of the youngest captains of World War I of
which he was a victim, suggested this to the woman he loved even
during their engagement. He wrote to her, "I must confess something
to you . . . I became aware of your imperfections and I thought how
pained I should have been if I had not been able to see clearly into
your soul . . . You see how frank I want to be with you. We are just
engaged and yet instead of paying you compliments, I do not fear to
speak to you of your imperfections which my love for you cannot hide
. . . Tell me you will pardon me."
Another time he wrote, "In general, engaged persons strive to shine
in each other's eyes. We, on the contrary, began by showing each
other all our faults...You have acknowledged all your faults to me; I
confessed to you all my weakness . . . Thank you for your great
confidence in me. But never forget that if I permit myself to give
you advice which seems good to me, I can always be mistaken and you
ought to discuss it with me. Otherwise I shall never dare to give you
my opinions."
In a later letter he said to her, "I have already abused the liberty
you gave me. I have told you frankly all I thought about you, nor was
I afraid to recognize before you what you call your great faults. It
was, I must confess, most difficult for me to tell you because I love
you so much that I dread causing you the least pain." He added, "The
interior life is what we need to correct our failings and we shall
work from now on, if you wish, to grow in it."
This mutual effort of husband and wife to correct themselves of their
faults may be much, but it is not enough. Something more beautiful
remains--to strive positively for sanctity through mutual
instruction, loving encouragement and a united and confiding zeal for
each other's perfection.
"Why should we not live a saintly life?" asked Maurice Retour of his
bride-to-be. And they decided upon some very definite principles for
themselves.
"Let us put no faith in fortune, in pleasures, even in our self- love
which always increases and makes us run the risk of becoming
blind.... The one who receives the most grace will make the other
profit by it. What do we care what the world says! It will say what
it pleases, but it never will be able to say that we are not true
Catholics . . . Our life will be holy and simple."
"As far as jewels are concerned," commented Maurice, "I understand
you perfectly. If you had loved them, I should never have opposed
your tastes, but I tell you frankly, I should have suffered. We shall
not fail by excesses on this score. We can do so much good with money
that it would be wrong, in spite of my desire to spoil you, to spend
it only on you. We shall save all we can to enable us to give more to
charity. We shall always go straight to our goal and make no
concessions to worldliness."
There is however, nothing admirable in a gloomy life. "Our interior
life must be so intense that it remains alive in all our exterior
actions, our pleasures, our work, our joys and our sorrows. I do not
mean an interior life which makes us withdraw into ourselves and
become bores for other people. On the contrary, we ought to spread
our gaiety generously about us and spend all the activity of our
youth to attract those who meet us. But, in order to be saints, we
must be able to conserve in the midst of the most captivating
pleasures and the most intense activity an interior calm which
enables us to remain self-possessed always. . ."
A saint who is sad is sadly in need of sanctity!
A truly inspiring program!
IDEALS FOR MARRIAGE
ON ONE occasion when Maurice Retour was talking with some comrades
about his ideals of marriage, he saw some of them smile sceptically.
He who had written, "Love has always been sacred to me. In its name I
desired to remain faithful to my fiancee even before knowing her,"
was to discover that all his companions did not share his noble
sentiments, his desire for a chaste marriage.
That did not cause him to lower his standards. He simply tried to
lead his companions to a more Christian understanding of married life
and if he could not do that, he at least showed his displeasure and
withdrew from the discussion.
Writing to his future wife, he said, "I have heard some comments
about our future, each one more offensive than the other. But I pity
these unfortunate individuals who have never known how to love truly,
who have never experienced real intimacy with their wife, and who
have sought nothing more than appearance or the satisfaction of their
caprice. They can say what they wish, they can tell me that I am
young or even a little simple but I shall never change my idea. They
can never destroy my confidence--first of all, my confidence in you
because of God who has certainly protected me in order to find you .
. . secondly, my confidence in myself, because I know that I am
different from certain individuals about me and I am not ashamed to
say so even if it does sound like pride on my part."
If that is pride, it is permissible pride! Rather is it an expression
of perfect mastery! It is the magnificent dignity of the Christian
who knows, of course, that he is weak but who refuses to justify in
advance his failings and cowardices, and who counts not upon himself
but upon God for strength to persevere.
"Pay no attention to those who tell you I shall change," he wrote.
"Do not listen to those who say that men who marry young will become
unfaithful later. No, I do not want anyone to believe such a
monstrous thing of me."
Who was to give him the strength to resist temptations which were
always possible?
"The sacrament of our marriage will impart to us the graces necessary
to keep our good resolutions. How few understand this sacrament! How
few prepare themselves for it and expect to receive from it the
graces it can give to those who seek them worthily."
Noble and irresistible pleading! It recalls the words of Lacordaire,
"When a person has not taken the trouble to overcome his passions and
when the revelation of chaste joys has not come to him, he consoles
himself with vices, declaring them necessary, and clothes in the
mantle of pseudo-science the testimony of a corrupted heart."
Surely marriage is a sacrament, but it is not a miracle. He who has
prepared for it only by youthful escapades will possibly fail to
remain steadfast. But can not he who has prepared himself by the
chastity of celibacy for the chastity of marriage be trusted to
preserve with the help of God, a chaste marriage?
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Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
<*}}}>< <http://halfthekingdom.mofuse.mobi/>Half the Kingdom!
on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom!
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><
Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
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