CHRIST IN THE HOME
http://www.ewtn.com/library/FAMILY/CHRISTH1.TXT

BY RAOUL PLUS, S.J.
a Translation from the French

FREDERICK PUSTET CO., INC. Publishers NEW YORK AND
CINCINNATI

Nihil Obstat:
JOHN M. A. FEARNS, S.T.D., Censor Librorum

Imprimatur:
+FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN,
Archbishop of New York

New York, June 19, 1951

MARRIAGE

UNITED STRIVING FOR SANCTITY

A BEAUTIFUL work which husband and wife can pursue together is the 
mutual effort to correct their faults. Maurice Retour, an 
industrialist and one of the youngest captains of World War I of 
which he was a victim, suggested this to the woman he loved even 
during their engagement. He wrote to her, "I must confess something 
to you . . . I became aware of your imperfections and I thought how 
pained I should have been if I had not been able to see clearly into 
your soul . . . You see how frank I want to be with you. We are just 
engaged and yet instead of paying you compliments, I do not fear to 
speak to you of your imperfections which my love for you cannot hide 
. . . Tell me you will pardon me."

Another time he wrote, "In general, engaged persons strive to shine 
in each other's eyes. We, on the contrary, began by showing each 
other all our faults...You have acknowledged all your faults to me; I 
confessed to you all my weakness . . . Thank you for your great 
confidence in me. But never forget that if I permit myself to give 
you advice which seems good to me, I can always be mistaken and you 
ought to discuss it with me. Otherwise I shall never dare to give you 
my opinions."

In a later letter he said to her, "I have already abused the liberty 
you gave me. I have told you frankly all I thought about you, nor was 
I afraid to recognize before you what you call your great faults. It 
was, I must confess, most difficult for me to tell you because I love 
you so much that I dread causing you the least pain." He added, "The 
interior life is what we need to correct our failings and we shall 
work from now on, if you wish, to grow in it."

This mutual effort of husband and wife to correct themselves of their 
faults may be much, but it is not enough. Something more beautiful 
remains--to strive positively for sanctity through mutual 
instruction, loving encouragement and a united and confiding zeal for 
each other's perfection.

"Why should we not live a saintly life?" asked Maurice Retour of his 
bride-to-be. And they decided upon some very definite principles for 
themselves.

"Let us put no faith in fortune, in pleasures, even in our self- love 
which always increases and makes us run the risk of becoming 
blind.... The one who receives the most grace will make the other 
profit by it. What do we care what the world says! It will say what 
it pleases, but it never will be able to say that we are not true 
Catholics . . . Our life will be holy and simple."

"As far as jewels are concerned," commented Maurice, "I understand 
you perfectly. If you had loved them, I should never have opposed 
your tastes, but I tell you frankly, I should have suffered. We shall 
not fail by excesses on this score. We can do so much good with money 
that it would be wrong, in spite of my desire to spoil you, to spend 
it only on you. We shall save all we can to enable us to give more to 
charity. We shall always go straight to our goal and make no 
concessions to worldliness."

There is however, nothing admirable in a gloomy life. "Our interior 
life must be so intense that it remains alive in all our exterior 
actions, our pleasures, our work, our joys and our sorrows. I do not 
mean an interior life which makes us withdraw into ourselves and 
become bores for other people. On the contrary, we ought to spread 
our gaiety generously about us and spend all the activity of our 
youth to attract those who meet us. But, in order to be saints, we 
must be able to conserve in the midst of the most captivating 
pleasures and the most intense activity an interior calm which 
enables us to remain self-possessed always. . ."

A saint who is sad is sadly in need of sanctity!

A truly inspiring program!


IDEALS FOR MARRIAGE

ON ONE occasion when Maurice Retour was talking with some comrades 
about his ideals of marriage, he saw some of them smile sceptically. 
He who had written, "Love has always been sacred to me. In its name I 
desired to remain faithful to my fiancee even before knowing her," 
was to discover that all his companions did not share his noble 
sentiments, his desire for a chaste marriage.

That did not cause him to lower his standards. He simply tried to 
lead his companions to a more Christian understanding of married life 
and if he could not do that, he at least showed his displeasure and 
withdrew from the discussion.

Writing to his future wife, he said, "I have heard some comments 
about our future, each one more offensive than the other. But I pity 
these unfortunate individuals who have never known how to love truly, 
who have never experienced real intimacy with their wife, and who 
have sought nothing more than appearance or the satisfaction of their 
caprice. They can say what they wish, they can tell me that I am 
young or even a little simple but I shall never change my idea. They 
can never destroy my confidence--first of all, my confidence in you 
because of God who has certainly protected me in order to find you . 
. . secondly, my confidence in myself, because I know that I am 
different from certain individuals about me and I am not ashamed to 
say so even if it does sound like pride on my part."

If that is pride, it is permissible pride! Rather is it an expression 
of perfect mastery! It is the magnificent dignity of the Christian 
who knows, of course, that he is weak but who refuses to justify in 
advance his failings and cowardices, and who counts not upon himself 
but upon God for strength to persevere.

"Pay no attention to those who tell you I shall change," he wrote. 
"Do not listen to those who say that men who marry young will become 
unfaithful later. No, I do not want anyone to believe such a 
monstrous thing of me."

Who was to give him the strength to resist temptations which were 
always possible?

"The sacrament of our marriage will impart to us the graces necessary 
to keep our good resolutions. How few understand this sacrament! How 
few prepare themselves for it and expect to receive from it the 
graces it can give to those who seek them worthily."

Noble and irresistible pleading! It recalls the words of Lacordaire, 
"When a person has not taken the trouble to overcome his passions and 
when the revelation of chaste joys has not come to him, he consoles 
himself with vices, declaring them necessary, and clothes in the 
mantle of pseudo-science the testimony of a corrupted heart."

Surely marriage is a sacrament, but it is not a miracle. He who has 
prepared for it only by youthful escapades will possibly fail to 
remain steadfast. But can not he who has prepared himself by the 
chastity of celibacy for the chastity of marriage be trusted to 
preserve with the help of God, a chaste marriage?

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Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue 
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.


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on your Mobile <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/wordpress/>Half the Kingdom! 
Blog <*}}}><
<*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the Kingdom! Main Site 
<*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/by-the-by/>Half the 
Kingdom! By the by <*}}}><

Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue 
with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.


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