ZE09012204 - 2009-01-22
Permalink: http://www.zenit.org/article-24869?l=english


Father Cantalamessa on What Marriage Needs


More Than a Defense, Sacrament Must Be Rediscovered

MEXICO CITY, JAN. 22, 2009 
(<http://www.zenit.org>Zenit.org).- Here is a 
translation of an excerpt of the Jan. 14 address 
from Capuchin Father Raniero Cantalamessa, 
preacher of the Pontifical Household, at the 6th World Meeting of Families.

The World Meeting was held Jan. 14-18 in Mexico City.

Father Cantalamessa's address was titled "Family 
Relationships and Values According to the Bible." 
The full text of the address is available at 
ZENIT's Web <http://www.zenit.org/article-24868?l=english>page.

* * *
Christians' task of rediscovering and fully 
living the biblical ideal of marriage and family 
is no less important than defending it. In this 
way it can be proposed again to the world with facts, more so than with words.

Let's read today the account of the creation of 
man and woman in the light of the revelation of 
the Trinity. Under this light, the phrase: "God 
created mankind in his image, in his image he 
created him, male and female he created them" 
finally reveals its meaning, which was mysterious 
and uncertain before Christ. What relation could 
there be between being "in the image of God" and 
being "male and female?" The God of the Bible 
does not have sexual connotations; he is neither male nor female.

The similarity is this: God is love and love 
demands communion, interpersonal exchange; it 
needs to have an "I" and a "you." There is no 
love that is not love for someone. Where there is 
only one subject there can be no love, only 
egotism and narcissism. Where God is thought of 
as Law and as absolute Power, there is no need 
for a plurality of persons. (Power can be 
exercised alone!). The God revealed by Jesus 
Christ, being love, is one and only, but he is 
not solitary; he is one and triune. In him 
coexist unity and distinction: unity of nature, 
of will, of intention, and distinction of characteristics and persons.

Two people that love each other, and the case of 
man and woman in marriage is the strongest, 
reproduce something that happens in the Trinity. 
There two persons, the Father and the Son, loving 
each other, produce ("breathe") the Spirit that 
is the love the joins them. Someone once defined 
the Holy Spirit as the divine "Us," that is, not 
the "third person of the Trinity," but rather the first person plural.[1]

Precisely in this way the human couple is an 
image of God. Husband and wife are in effect a 
single flesh, a single heart, a single soul, even 
in the diversity of sex and personality. In the 
couple, unity and diversity reconcile themselves. 
The spouses face each other as an "I" and a 
"you", and face the rest of the world, beginning 
with their own children, as a "we," almost as if 
it was a single person, no longer singular but 
rather plural. "We," in other words, "your mother and I," "your father and I."

In light of this we discover the profound meaning 
of the prophets' message regarding human 
marriage, which is therefore a symbol and 
reflection of another love, God's love for his 
people. This doesn't involve overburdening a 
purely human reality with mystical meaning. It is 
not a question simply of symbolism; rather it 
involves revealing the true face and final 
purpose of the creation of man and woman: leaving 
one's own isolation and "egotism," opening up to 
the other, and through the temporal ecstasy of 
carnal union, elevating oneself to the desire for 
love and for happiness without end.

What's the reason for the incompleteness and 
dissatisfaction that sexual union leaves within 
and outside of marriage? Why does this impulse 
always fall over itself and why does this promise 
of infinity and eternity always end up 
disappointed? The ancients coined a phrase that 
paints this reality: "Post coitum animal triste": 
just like any other animal, man is sad after carnal union.

The pagan poet Lucretius left us a raw 
description of this frustration that accompanies 
each copulation, which should not be scandalous 
for us to hear at a congress for spouses and families:

"And mingle the slaver of their mouths, and breathe
Into each other, pressing teeth on mouths -
Yet to no purpose, since they're powerless
To rub off aught, or penetrate and pass
With body entire into body"[2]

The search for remedy to this frustration only 
increases it. Instead of modifying the quality of 
the act, the quantity is increased, moving from 
one partner to another. This is how God's gift of 
sexuality is ruined, in the trend of culture and society today.

As Christians, do we want to find an explanation 
once and for all for this devastating 
dysfunction? The explanation is that sexual union 
is not lived in the way and with the purpose in 
which God intended it. The purpose was, through 
this ecstasy and fusion of love, that man and 
woman would be elevated to the desire and have a 
certain taste for infinite love. They would 
remember from whence they came and where they were going.

Sin, beginning with the biblical sin of Adam and 
Eve, has gutted this plan; it has "profaned" this 
gesture, in other words, it has stripped it of 
its religious value. It has turned it into a 
gesture that is an end in itself, which finishes 
with itself, and is therefore "unsatisfactory." 
The symbol has been separated from the reality it 
symbolizes, bereft of its intrinsic dynamism and 
therefore mutilated. Never as much as in this 
case is St. Augustine's saying true: "You made 
us, Lord, for you and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

Even couples that are believers, sometimes more 
than others, don't come to find this richness of 
the initial meaning of sexual union due to the 
idea of concupiscence and original sin associated 
with the act for so many centuries. Only in the 
witness of some couples that have had a renewing 
experience of the Holy Spirit and that live 
Christian life charismatically do we find 
something of that original meaning of the 
conjugal act. They have confided with wonder, to 
friends or a priest, that they unite praising God 
out loud, and even singing in tongues. It was a 
real experience of God's presence.

It is understandable why it is only possible to 
find this fullness of the marital vocation in the 
Holy Spirit. The constitutive act of marriage is 
reciprocal self-giving, making a gift of one's 
own body to the spouse (or, in the words of the 
Bible, of one's whole self). In being the 
sacrament of the gift, marriage is, by its 
nature, a sacrament that is open to the action of 
the Holy Spirit, who is the Gift par excellence, 
or better said, the reciprocal self-giving of the 
Father and the Son. It is the sanctifying 
presence of the Spirit that makes marriage not 
only a celebrated sacrament, but a lived sacrament.

The secret to getting access to these splendors 
of Christian love is to give Christ space within 
the life of the couple. In fact, the Holy Spirit 
that makes all things new, comes from him. A book 
by Fulton Sheen, popular in the 50s, reiterated 
this with its title: "Three to Get Married."[3]

We should not be afraid of proposing a very high 
goal to some especially prepared couples, who 
will be future Christian spouses: that of praying 
a while the wedding night, as Tobias and Sarah, 
and afterward giving God the Father the joy of 
seeing his initial plan realized anew, thanks to 
Christ, when Adam and Eve were nude in front of 
each other and both in front of God and they were not ashamed.

I end with some words taken once again from "The 
Satin Slipper" by Claudel. It is a dialogue 
between the woman of the drama and her guardian 
angel. The woman struggles between her fear and 
the desire to surrender herself to love:

-So, is this love of the creatures, one for 
another, allowed? Isn't God jealous?
-How could He be jealous of what He Himself made?
-But man, in the arms of the woman, forgets God...
-Can they forget Him when they are with Him, 
participating in the mystery of his creation?[4]
--- --- ---

[1] Cf. Cf. H. Mühlen, Der Heilige Geist als 
Person. Ich -Du -Wir, Muenster, in W. 1966.
[2] Lucretius, De rerum natura, IV,2 vv. 1104-1107.
[3] F. Sheen, Three to Get Married, Appleton-Century-Crofts 1951.

[4] P. Claudel, Le soulier de satin, a.III. sc.8 
(éd. La Pléiade, II, Paris 1956, pp. 804):
- Dona Prouhèze. - -Eh quoi! Ainsi c'était 
permis? cet amour des créatures l'une pour 
l'autre, il est donc vrai que Dieu n'est pas jaloux ?
- L'Ange Gardien.- Comment serait-il jaloux de ce qu'il a fait ?...
- Dona Prouhèze. - L'homme entre les bras de la femme oublie Dieu.
- L'Ange Gardien.- Est-ce l'oublier que d'être 
avec lui ? est-ce ailleurs qu'avec lui d'être 
associé au mystère da sa création ?

[Translation by Thomas Daly]

--- --- ---

On the Net:

Full text of address: http://www.zenit.org/article-24868?l=english


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Lord, may everything we do begin with Your 
inspiration and continue with Your help,
so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.



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