<http://www.maristmessenger.co.nz/?p=426>The Day I Discovered I Had the Stigmata http://www.maristmessenger.co.nz/?p=426 February 1st, 2009 filed under <http://www.maristmessenger.co.nz/?cat=2>Articles
by Bill Farrelly In my childhood, there was a period in which the word stigmata aroused in a me a great fear. I tried to make myself invisible to God in the hope that whatever dispatches of that nature were being issued from on High would have no chance of finding me. When I absolutely needed God,and therefore had to be visible to Him, I would plead, as an aside,that He never bestow one of those ghastly packages upon me. I don't recall which I dreaded more: the embarrassment or the pain. Whatever, the chilling day never arrived. Or so I thought. Recently, more than half a century after those primary school cowerings, it occurred to me that God had indeed visited the stigmata upon me many decades ago despite all evidence to the contrary. Many people, I have no doubt, have likewise been afflicted. No, I do not bleed from hand, foot or side. Though I can recall the odd rusty nail going through my bare feet in the backyard where I grew up in Major Road, Merrylands, and the subsequent tears and tetanus shots, as well as many of the usual childhood misadventures that provoked even more angst, I was, I had assumed, spared that Heaven-sent torment to which nothing (save perhaps losing a limb or two) could compare. The penny dropped, beautifully and sadly, some days ago as I wandered up to Mass struggling with my own torments but equally and importantly with those of others as well. I had, I suddenly realised, carried an invisible stigmata, almost all my life. Do not think I seek your acclaim. I share this musing merely as an example of how God amazes me, tricks me, confounds me, delights me..Dare I say hurts me? What is this invisible stigmata's manifestation? Simply, it is that anguish for the suffering of others. Like most, I hurt deeply for my own pain and (though not always as much as I should) the pain I have inflicted on those I love, but I also hurt, sometimes unbearably, it seems, for the hurts of others, most of whom I have never met, will never meet. I weep and my heart aches for their physical, mental and emotional hurts, for their loneliness, despair, and emptiness. At times this sadness is crushing. At these blackest moments, I have to remind myself that while my empathy is God-given, I cannot linger indefinitely, nor surrender to despondency. Paradoxically, perhaps, I am trying to lighten up, to laugh more, to observe more objectively, to try at times to be detached. I am taking this course because there have been times when I have been in danger of drowning in sadness. How, in such circumstances, could I cast a life buoy? Decades ago, as I watched a young boy and his mother suffering, I asked God to ease their hurt and send me more: I merely had chronic back pain. Tinnitus, anyone? Funny how He seems to answer some prayers so promptly, isn't it? But I have been blessed time and again.These days I don't need to ask for more - it comes unbidden! PS. Dear God, I still don't want the real stigmata, unless it would cure the arthritis. Just joking. Bill Farrelly is a former journalist with the Sydney Morning Herald who admits he would have been a better journalist had he been more objective. But he would also have been less empathetic. <*}}}>< <http://astore.amazon.com/halthekin-20>Catholic on Amazon <*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.holypostage.com/>Holy Postage <*}}}>< <*}}}><<http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Kingdom!<*}}}>< Lord, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue with Your help, so that all our prayers and works may begin in You and by You be happily ended. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen. <*}}}>< <http://astore.amazon.com/halthekin-20>Catholic on Amazon <*}}}>< <*}}}>< <http://www.holypostage.com/>Holy Postage <*}}}>< <*}}}><<http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Half the <http://www.halfthekingdom.org/>Kingdom!<*}}}>< + "The fruit of abortion is nuclear war" - Bl. Mother Teresa + --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Please note that I do not send or open attachments sent to this list. You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Catholics on Fire" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Catholics-on-Fire May the blessing of Jesus and our Blessed Mother be with you -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
