"Love You, Mom"

<http://www.guideposts.com/story/mysterious-ways-love-you-mom>http://www.guideposts.com/story/mysterious-ways-love-you-mom
 




I dreamed of the impossible­to hear from my son one last time

By Mona Robbins, Holton, Michigan
May, 2005

Three Mother’s Day cards stood on the living-room 
console, meant to cheer me up. Yet I couldn’t 
help thinking, There should be four. It had been 
two years, now, since my oldest, Dennis, died, yet my grief hadn’t faded.

Dennis was my determined one. He ran his own 
business down in Texas. Even when he was 
diagnosed with MS in his thirties, he refused to 
let it get in his way. He went everywhere in his 
wheelchair. We almost forgot Dennis had anything 
wrong with him, which is what he wanted. Then he 
was struck down by terminal cancer. Because of 
the MS, perhaps, it spread quickly. In those last 
days, we spoke on the phone when I couldn’t be 
with him in Texas (Dennis couldn’t travel and I 
was caring for his ill father). Dennis always 
managed to say one thing before he hung up, “Love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Denny,” I said, though each time 
the words were harder to get out, since I knew it 
might be the last time I said them.

I thought a lot about his life in those last 
days, what a fine man he’d become, what a sweet 
little boy he had been, a boy who loved birthdays 
and balloons. Lord, how will I go on without hearing him say, “Love you, Mom?”

For the funeral the family gathered at our church 
in Michigan. At the end of the service we went 
out to the parking lot. Everybody was given a 
balloon. There were more than 100 of them­sky 
blue, hot pink, daffodil yellow. Our minister 
said a few words then we released the balloons. I 
watched them float into the blustery March sky. 
Into the arms of God, like Denny, I tried telling 
myself. But as the months passed, my grief grew. 
If only I could let go of my son like I had that balloon.

For a week I kept those Mother’s Day cards on the 
console, hoping they’d comfort me. But they made 
me miss Dennis all the more. Sunday I got up 
early. I took coffee to the dining room so I 
could look out the window to our backyard. The 
lilac bush was in full bloom and birds darted 
among the trees by our wishing well. Something 
appeared in the sky. A shiny Mylar balloon. It 
slipped between the trees, hovered above the 
wishing well, then stopped at the bird feeders. 
The breeze was blowing in the opposite direction, 
yet it floated toward the house. From the window 
I could see all my favorite flowers printed on 
it­lilacs, violets, pansies. There was a message 
too, but I couldn’t make it out. I went outside to get a closer look.

That balloon didn’t come from out of nowhere. Nor 
did the sudden sense of peace that enveloped me. 
I knew exactly where it had come from. Printed 
boldly across the front of the balloon were the words “Love you, Mom.”



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