That’s a great one! Best summary of this thread so far. Thanks for sharing. Marc
> On Oct 28, 2018, at 10:36 AM, Jeffrey S. Worley via cctalk > <[email protected]> wrote: > > This was circulating in 1995/6. IBM had been shipping the very good > OS/2 for some years and Microsoft was trying to catch up. Someone did > a very nice parody. > > Jeff > > *****The Legend of the Pea Sea***** > Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the > writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the > Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would > need for support but few rams. > So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft, fashioned a > Dosfish, who was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen-bit > channel. But the Dosfish was not bright, and could be taught few > tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and > the size of his file cabinet was limited by his own fat. > At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who > could swim the Pea Sea. But the people soon grew tired of commanding > his line, and complained that he could neither be dragged nor dropped. > "Forsooth," they cried, "the Dosfish can only do one job at a time, and > of names he knows only eight and three." And many of them left the Pea > Sea for good, and went off in search of the Magic Apple. > Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea > was cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested > awhile in the Parc of the XerOx, and he made a Window that could ride > on the Dosfish and do its thinking for it. But the Window was slow, and > it would break when the Dosfish got confused. So most people contented > themselves with the Dosfish. > Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and > spoke thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the > Dosfish." The Blue Giant seemed like a humbug, so they called the new > creature Oz II. > Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are. It could > drag and drop, and could keep files without becoming fat. But the > people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised > another Oz II, to be called Oz II Too, that could swim fast in the new, > 32-bit wide Pea Sea. > Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window that rode on > the Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the third Window was prettiest > of all. And the people began to like the third Window, and to use it. > So the Gateskeeper turned to the Blue Giant and said, "Fie on thee, for > I need thee not. Keep thy Oz II Too, and I shall make of my Window an > Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the 32-bit Pea > Sea." > Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant > were many times overrun by insects. And the people went on using their > Dosfish with a Window; even though the Dosfish would from time to time > become confused and die, it could always be revived with three fingers. > Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto > the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a > great ram, and the world was changed not a whit. For the people said, > "It is indeed great, but we see little application for it." And they > were doubtful, because the Blue Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and > together they were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of > objects, and was most pink. > Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious > before he grew, he was now more ambitious still. So he protected his > Window Entity with great security, and made its net work both in > serving and with peers. And the Entity would swim, not only in the Pea > Sea, but in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared, > "though my entity will require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be > more powerful than a world of Eunuchs." > And so the Gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in > all but two cities. For he promised that a greater Window, a greater > Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would appear one day in Chicago and > Cairo, and it too would be built of objects. > Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned > the Pea Sea, began to look upon their world with fear. For the Pea Sea > had grown and great ships were sailing in it, the Entity was about to > invade their Oceans, and it was rumored that files would be named in > letters greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea, > and many of them thought to immigrate. > Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they had > wanted to excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as > easy as one-two-three. And what's more, many of them no longer wanted > to pay for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went to the Pea Sea, and got > himself eighty-sixed. > And taking the next step was He of the NextStep, who had given up > building his boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly that he could > help anyone make wondrous soft wares, then admitted meekly that only > those who know him could use those wares, and he was made of objects, > and required the biggest ram of all. > And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed. > And sore confused. And sore sore. And that is why, to this day, Ozes, > Entities, and Eunuchs battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the > people still travel on the simple Dosfish. > >
