Why did the chicken cross the road?

VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I
will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the
chickens and I will not disappoint them.

GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chicken across the road. I say give the
road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of
strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in
his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken
should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.

SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help
crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire
makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create
the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an
advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side."
That's what "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken
is
gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.  I say we
boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as
that.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have
to cross before you believe it?

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"?
Could you define "chicken" please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

COLONEL SANDERS
One got away?


Philip Arnold
ASP Multimedia Limited
T: +44 (0)20 8680 1133

"Websites for the real world"

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