This has been doing the rounds in the UK. JUST in case you have not seen
it...
>
> << NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>
> To the citizens of the United States of America,
> In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus
to
> govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> independence, effective today.
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties
> over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah,
which she
> does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP
for the
> 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
outside
> your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for
> further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
> questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
you
> noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules
> are introduced with immediate effect:
>
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then
> look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at
> just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
raise
> your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same
> twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
"you
> know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
> "interspersed".
>
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft
know on
> your behalf.
>
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian
accents. It
> really isn't that hard.
>
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the
> good guys.
>
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen",
> but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
> confused and give up half way through.
>
> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
kind of
> football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game.
> The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may
> have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer
> be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it
> would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game.
Those
> of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is
similar
> to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty
> seconds or wearing
> full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at
> least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
>
> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if
> they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
there is
> a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The
Russians have
> never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
>
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
> national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
Day".
>
> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
your
> own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean.
>
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation. >>
>
Best Regards,
Adam Reynolds
UK Citizen :-)
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