OK, one last one:
"It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid
enough to want the job."
- Erma Bombeck
At 03:42 PM 12/18/2000 -0400, Ang�l Stewart wrote:
>BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
>
>Bush to be smitten later today
>
>In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "One Nation, under
>God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last night's Supreme
>Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.
>
>"I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a
>rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back and
>let Bush get away with this bullshit."
>
>"I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in
>Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted
>for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes."
>
>Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict overrules
>the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving
>him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for
>possible grounds for appeal.
>
>"God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist Jim
>Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is
>unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of
>Florida."
>
>"Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of
>him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." God, who provided
>the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad
>balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White
>House to "a friggin' idiot."
>
>"Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real!
>The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them: Anderson,
>Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
>
>Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's
>prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an
>act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of
>Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold
>his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard
>labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.
>
>Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
>
>-Gel
>*giggles*
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Sharon DiOrio [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
>
>Messages like this sure beat the
>snot out of all those political humor posts...:-)
>
>Sharon
>
>
>
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