On the diversion side, found some interesting entries on hospital charts
that
may interest you.
If the medical staff had actually done research on the practice of medicine,
this list would not exist.
These entries are actually real.
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that
she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it
disappeared.
4. Patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge Status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but
forgotten.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only an 18 kilogram (38 pound) weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from the toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got the divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of the genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a
job as a stockbroker instead.
25. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. The patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we
should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
-Gel
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