Similar but "kinder and gentler" old joke:

A man replaces a flat tire on his car, but fails to tighten the wheel nuts
sufficiently.
A short distance down the road, the wheel nuts loosen completely, and the
wheel falls off.
He stops the car right in front of the fence of a state mental hospital.
As the man stands there wondering what to do, an inmate of the mental
hospital standing near the fence says "I know how you can fix it".  The man
asks "How?"  The inmate says "Take one of the wheel nuts from each of the
other three wheels.  That will get you going again."  The man says "that's
an excellent idea - what are you doing in a mental hospital?"  The inmate
draws himself up and says proudly "I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid"!

-Ben

-----Original Message-----
From: Angel Stewart [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2001 5:13 PM
To: CF-Community
Subject: For the cynical >:-)


"Just when I thought you yanks had cornered the market in stoopid, this
little gem occured virtually in my own backyard.
After spending a considerable time in our village pub, a couple of tourists
headed back to their accomodations several
kilometers from the town.
Along the way, their car got a flat tyre. No problemo! He gets out, jacks up
the offending wheel, removes the wheel nuts...
and the car falls off the jack. Not wishing to go to all the bother of
jacking it up again, this cheery couple decides to
proceed on the flat. Only they don't get very far because, as I mentioned,
the wheel nuts have been taken off and the wheel
falls off the car.

When you are faced with a missing wheel in the gathering darkness in a
fairly remote area, there are not a lot of options
open to you. This clever chappy, however, exercised an option that would not
have occurred to the rest of us. He grabs a .22
rifle, sticks it under his chin, hollers "I've had enough of this!" and
pulls the trigger. The hollow-point bullet travels up
through his mouth, doing awful things to his tongue along the way, and
lodges somewhere behind his nose. Fortunately (?)
another car happens by shortly after the event, and the 'victim' is
transported back to the pub where we started this tale.
First aid is given, an ambulance arrives and our hero is whisked off to the
nearest hospital thirty kilometers away.

Now here is the kicker. When the medicos get to work to remove the slug and
repair chummy's head they find a second
projectile, one that has been in place for a considerable length of time.
This second bullet had been fired from an air rifle
in an earlier attempt to escape from life's vexations.

This guy doesn't qualify for an award yet, but he is a rising star. Next
time he might just get hold of a 12 gauge shotgun...
"

-Gel
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