> USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
>
> Dear Mr. Baker,
>
> As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
> basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have
> an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
> consistent
> and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of
> our
> duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes
>
> of our time.
>
> Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
> everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only
> a
> waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I
> know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to
> provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
> attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth
> time.
>
> You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
> binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand
> why
> people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though
> I
> am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your
>
> shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
>
> You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
> others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
> worked
> for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you
> pawn
> it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your
> glaring
> ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green
> algae
> that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof
> of
> the Dilbert principle.
>
> Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full
> frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I
>
> have a few parting thoughts.
>
> 1.. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal
> for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt
> me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you
> over the next
> couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to
> do
> it on your own.
>
> 2.. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I
> know
> every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get
>
> cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
> conveniently
> saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that
> terms
> like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
>
> 3.. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
> Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
> take pictures of
> yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the
> techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd
> acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and
>
> kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of
> recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
>
> your mistakes.)
>
> Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on
> my
> desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
> little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
>
> Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know
> what you do with all that free time!
>
> Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
> Cecelia
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