larry
On Wed, 11 Aug 2004 16:31:24 -0400, Michael Dinowitz
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> From another list:
>
> Today a group of Massachusetts animal-care professionals, Swift Boat
> Veterinarians for Truth, launched an advertising campaign to counter claims
> made by John Kerry's family concerning his heroism and the family dog's
> misconduct in the alleged near-death of a hamster. A script of the
> advertisement follows:
>
> "Hamster" (0:60)
>
> Alexandra Kerry (video from Democratic National Convention): We were
> standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip. Vanessa,
> the scientist, had packed all her animals including her favorite hamster.
> Our overzealous golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the
> hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster,
> bubbled down to a watery doom. . But my dad jumped in, grabbed an oar,
> fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to
> administer CPR.
>
> Vet No. 1: I was on that boat coming to pick up John Kerry.
>
> Vet No. 2: John Kerry has not been honest about what happened.
>
> Vet No. 1: He's lying about the hamster.
>
> Vet No. 3: I know John Kerry is lying about the hamster, because I treated
> the hamster for that injury.
>
> (On-screen: X-ray)
>
> Vet No. 4: I took care of that retriever since he was a puppy. He would
> never hurt another living thing. John Kerry has besmirched the honor of
> every dog who ever served.
>
> (On-screen: guide dog leading veteran)
>
> Vet No. 1: I don't even think he had a dog. Never heard one. Maybe a cat.
> Even that far away, my eyesight's pretty good.
>
> Vet No. 5: He says it was a retriever. Well, retrievers go get things.
> That's what they do. The cage goes in the water, and the retriever doesn't
> go after it? Come on.
>
> Vet No. 2: There was no leash. I looked up when I heard the dog. Went back
> to the house and got my binoculars just to make sure. I think he kicked the
> damn thing in the water himself.
>
> (On-screen: caged hamster sinking)
>
> Vet No. 5: OK, tell me this. How do you hook that cage with an oar? You want
> to tell me how an oar fits through a hole a hamster can't get out of?
>
> Vet No. 4: The CPR thing. That kills me. I shook hands with that bastard
> once. Ever seen his fingers? Jesus. He probably crushed it right there if it
> wasn't dead already.
>
> (On-screen: rodent carcass on pavement)
>
> Vet No. 2: Yeah, I saw him do mouth-to-mouth once. Not on a hamster. Can we
> go off the record?
>
> Vet No. 3: He lied to the girls. He lied to his country.
>
> Vet No. 5: When the cage was in the water, you could not count on John
> Kerry.
>
> (On-screen: bubbles emerging to surface)
>
> Vet No. 4: He blamed the dog. He blamed the girls. Everyone but himself.
>
> (On-screen: bubbles cease)
>
> Announcer: Swift Boat Veterinarians for Truth is responsible for the content
> of this advertisement.
>
>
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