"The Bored Civil Servant" (an old one)

This civil servant is sitting in his office up in Dublin one day, and out of
sheer boredom he decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. Poking
through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This'll look
feckin' great on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears [oh no, not one of those sh***
genie in the lamps jokes again - Ed] and grants him three wishes.

"Er, I wish for an ice cold diet Coke right now!" He gets his Coke and
drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish: "I
wish to be on an island far away from Ireland, where beautiful nymphomaniacs
reside." Suddenly he's on an island in the Tropics, with gorgeous females
eyeing him lustfully. Then he tells the genie his third and last wish: "I
wish never to have to work ever again."

POOF! He's back in that civil service office.

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